Tarian Alpha (New Tarian Pride Book 1) Read online

  “What do you mean?” she asked softly, touching his beard.

  “You’re submissive, but strong. Loyal. Brave.”

  “No one has ever mistaken me for brave before.”

  “Then no one really knew you. Your dad’s in danger so you’re doing what it takes to save him. You had two options. Run, like he asked you to, or go right into a terrifying situation that will swallow up your whole life, just to make sure he’s safe. I don’t care what anyone else would call that. I see it how it is. You’re brave, Em. And funny, beautiful, and resilient. And even if your lioness tries to be invisible, I hope someday I get the chance to see her.”

  And because she had nothing to lose, she asked, “Do you want to see her now?”

  It was the biggest risk of all. Letting this dominant Tarian Alpha see her biggest shame. But why not? He’d passed every test she hadn’t even realized she’d been giving him.

  Sure, he was dangerous, but deep down to her soul, she knew he was only dangerous to the ones who hurt his people. And just as deep down, where she would never admit it out loud because she knew her reality, she wished she could be one of his people, too.

  “You would Change for me?” he asked softly.

  “It’s the only chance we have,” she said, trying so hard to keep the sadness from her voice. That was the rule. Stay in the moment.

  Slowly, she dismounted his lap and unzipped her jacket. Heat was already creeping up her neck, and she couldn’t meet his gaze. She shrugged out of her jacket and kicked off her snow boots before carefully tucking her socks into them. The snow was freezing against her bare feet.

  Okay, now for the big stuff. When she glanced up at Ronin, he was watching her with fiery gold eyes. When she hesitated at the hem of her sweater, he stood and turned around, giving her privacy. She kind of wished she could’ve made it sexy and stripped down for him without going all shy. Nudity was second nature to most shifters, but not to her.

  She folded her clothes and stood there with her bare skin getting whipped by the wind. “I don’t Change around people.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because of how my animal is. I was rogue with my parents for so long I didn’t really get caught in the situation too often. Not since I was a cub.” The last sentence shook because she was shivering, from cold and from nerves. “Okay, here I go.”

  She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Usually, it took a long time because the lion was shy, but today was different. She’d been watching Ronin, fully aware, fully awake, and she was right there under her skin, waiting for permission to take over. The pain was blinding, but it was over so fast, it left her breathless on all fours, stunned that she wasn’t writhing on the ground, waiting for every bone to break and every muscle to take on a new shape. It was a second, maybe two, and then she was this. She was the lioness. The Invisible.

  Daring a look at Ronin, to Emerald’s mortification, he was facing her now. Had he seen the Change? She didn’t know. All she knew was the look on his face made her heart pound harder. She wished she had more control, but this body was the property of the lioness. She crouched slowly to her belly and exposed her neck. Like always.

  Ronin knelt beside her and dragged his eyes down her long body, then back up to her face, which she’d smushed into the snow to be as small as possible around him. She felt his power so much more in this body. It vibrated through every cell and made the air she breathed heavy. It felt as if a truck was sitting on her chest.

  Ronin ran his hand down her shoulder to her ribs. Felt good, so why was she scared?

  Ronin, Ronin, powerful Ronin. With those bright gold eyes and golden hair falling forward. His slight smile, nearly hidden in his beard, the one he used to hide the scars on his neck from the world. Storm clouds above him made his skin look even paler, eyes look even brighter. He pulled off a leather necklace and his shirt. He stood smoothly and unbuckled his belt. Her ears perked at the jingle of the metal. What was he doing? He took out his chain wallet and unhooked it from his belt, then shoved his jeans down his legs. And before it even registered with her what he intended to do, Ronin Changed.

  He. Changed.

  Shit shit shit shit! As the massive lion slammed down to the snow on all fours, Emerald scrambled off. He had her pinned before she’d made it to the swing set. A snarl rattled his throat, and now she was going to die. She hissed. Ronin was huge, with a thick brown mane, fiery eyes, and black scars on his face. One of his ears had a huge notch ripped out of it. His paws on either side of her were the size of her whole head. How could a lion be this big? He settled his nose against her neck and inhaled deeply. She was so frozen, so terrified, she might as well have been the snow. Invisible. Please don’t hurt me. Hiss.

  When he set his teeth gently on her shoulder, she panicked. She didn’t want to die. She reached out and swatted him, hooking her claws into his fur coat, right at his ribs. Another hiss.

  He didn’t even flinch. He let her claws stay right where they were and ran his long tongue up the side of her neck, over and over, until she retracted the claws from his hide. Her heart was going ninety-to-nothing, threatening to race out of her chest completely. Ronin laid half on top of her, one massive arm thrown over her body, pinning her down as he cleaned her slowly. Minutes drifted by, and still, he didn’t kill her. He didn’t even put her in her place. And eventually, she relaxed, muscle by muscle, and closed her eyes, enjoying the affection. Outside of her parents, had she ever experienced affection in this form? She couldn’t remember. She remembered being a cub and getting clawed and bitten by the dominant cubs of the Pride. The only good memories she had in this form were the hours she’d spent alone in the woods, with no one there to scare her.

  Ronin stood suddenly and made his way across the playground. Just…left.

  Confused, Emerald sat up and watched him meander off. He was tricky. He walked slow and lazy, but she knew he could turn into a killer in no time flat. Still…she’d just been getting used to him, and now he was heading into the woods. Heading away from her.

  She didn’t like that.

  Maybe she would just trail behind so she could see where he was going, but still be able to run away easily. Feeling like an escape artist genius, Emerald stood, twitched her tail, and then crunched through the snow after him. At the tree line, he slowed and came to a stop, then watched her over his shoulder.

  Is he waiting for me? That’s dangerous. Everything is dangerous.

  She stopped, too.

  He sat.

  She sat.

  They stared.

  What now?

  A roar sounded behind her and, on instinct, she bolted for Ronin. Hell no to getting eaten by a stranger lion! She would rather be eaten by him.

  Ronin was standing now, looking at something behind her, and she skidded to a stop beside him. His ears were perked up, but his mouth was hanging open and he was panting slightly. Relaxed for the most part. Across the playground were a trio of adult male lions and one lioness.

  Was it the Old Tarian Pride or the New Tarian Pride? From Ronin’s reaction, she thought this was his Crew. He strode toward them, unhurried. Okay then. Emerald scampered behind him, dragging her belly through the snow, trailing just far enough back that he couldn’t turn around and swat her. Not that he was showing any signs of aggression, but a wuss could never be too careful. She wanted to roll her eyes at herself, but again, the lioness controlled this body.

  He ran his face down the side of the lioness first. Rose? It was probably Rose. She guessed so, since the lioness came straight over to Emerald and greeted her. Like a nice lioness. Like Rose had done. Emerald lay frozen in the snow like a fucking lion-cicle while Rose bumped her forehead against hers. The male lions approached slowly, bobbing their heads as they stared at Emerald.

  This was her nightmare. They were all dominant brawlers, and now she was definitely going to die.

  Ronin was larger than all of them and wary. He paced away and then back as the others approached closer to
Emerald, step by tentative step. The lions seemed only curious, but Emerald wasn’t used to Prides. She wasn’t used to so many dominant lions around her at once, and she couldn’t breathe. She rolled over on her side. Please don’t hurt me.

  One of the males was braver than the rest and sauntered up to her. He pushed his nose against her shoulder and then her neck. This was okay. He was just checking her out. Everything was okay. But when he placed his paw on her ribs and put pressure on her, Ronin snarled and swatted him right off her. The lion fell hard in the snow, and then Ronin herded him away aggressively. His body was tensed up, every powerful muscle rippling, the warning in his throat deafening. Rose laid beside her, tail twitching as she watched Ronin back the lion into a snowdrift. The other three males were inching away, tails down, ears flattened.

  They all felt like Alphas, even the lioness beside her. These were the Tarians she remembered.

  Emerald backed away, her belly making a trail in the snow. The three males bolted behind her, and now she was trapped between them and the fight. They had lowered to the ground stretched their necks forward, sniffing at her tail. Rose hissed but she didn’t seem too bothered by them.

  Suddenly, Ronin let off a whoof sound. It was a chuffing. He did it over and over, his rib muscles flexing with each call he gave. The others trotted away a few steps, ears erect, eyes on their Alpha. A lion roared in the woods, then another and another. Ronin was calling them. Why? Emerald didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to be in the middle of whatever was happening. Her submissiveness only set off dominants. It made them defensive. Her lying here in the snow like some dead thing made them instinctively want to fix her, like she was a wounded member of the pride. It made them want to fix her…or end her. She was confusing them all, like she always did, and confusion in lions led to aggression. Look at Ronin, charging the three males. Charging his own pride because of her. He was trying to protect her, but from what? His own people. Stupid lioness.

  Ronin gave off three short roars again, and the other lions in the woods appeared in the clearing, trotting toward them. Was this the entire Pride here now? Rose arched her head back and roared, too, and the three closest to them joined in.

  And what did Emerald do?

  She laid there like a bump on a log.

  And hated herself.

  She had been born into this powerful body, but with a weak soul, and for what? What good did it do her? It only confused her and every shifter around her. She wrecked the balance.

  Ronin herded the lions toward the old trail leading through the woods, leaving only her behind, and she understood. He’d told her before she didn’t belong here. Her place was to stay invisible.

  So she watched them all leave. And when Ronin turned around, she wished she could smile at him. It’s okay. I understand.

  But he trotted back to her and swatted her on the ass. Was this the part where she was going to die? No, he was trying to get her up.

  Good luck, bucko, my lioness doesn’t mind anyone— With a hiss, Emerald stood up and slunk beside him. And when he followed his Pride, she stayed right there at his side.

  Well…this was new.

  The Pride kept stopping and waiting, eyes on her, eyes on Ronin, back to her, back to Ronin.

  Ronin was Alpha. He should’ve been in front, leading them all. But instead, he was walking slowly beside her. She didn’t understand.

  There was a soft rumbling every time Ronin exhaled a frozen breath, and every ten steps or so, he would swerve into her and rub his body down the side of hers. The first time he did it, she went to her belly. But he’d protected her. He hadn’t hurt her. He was being patient and walking with her. So each time he moved toward her, she tried a little harder to stand her ground until her lioness rubbed her face against the side of his thick mane.

  And inside, Emerald wanted to cry with happiness. Because she’d never been okay around other dominant lions, but Ronin made her feel safe. Who was going to mess with her when she was under his protection? No one. He was king here.

  And the more she watched him, content to walk with her at the back of the Pride, the more she realized something.

  An Alpha and a Pride were only as strong as the weakest member—and that would always be her. She was better off in Cassius’s Pride where she could cause dissention in the ranks just by being herself.

  She understood that, but as she walked through the snowy woods with these powerful animals, feeling like she was a part of something…she selfishly wanted to stay.

  Chapter Nine

  Why wouldn’t her hands stop shaking? She tried twice to tie her boots, but she messed up the bow both times. She would probably never get used to Changing in front of people. The others had Changed back to their human forms, seemingly unaffected, like they did this all the time in front of each other, but for Emerald, it was different. Changing had always been a secretive thing in the years she’d been rogue with her family. She’d hid what she was, and taught her lioness to feel almost…ashamed. And realizing that made Emerald a little sad. She’d been part of making her lioness invisible without knowing it. She tried again to tie her shoe, but her silly trembling hands messed it all up again. She could feel everyone’s attention on her.

  “Here, let me,” Ronin murmured, kneeling in front of her.

  “Ronin, get up,” she whispered. “You shouldn’t be kneeling in front of me. You’re Alpha.”

  “You don’t really understand what being Alpha means, do you?” he murmured, frowning up at her as he finished tying her shoe. His eyes were still bright gold, and made her heartbeat stutter a bit.

  She didn’t understand what he meant, but before she could ask, a dark-haired man from Ronin’s Crew, Kannon, he’d called him, strode by. He was bare-butt-naked and didn’t cover his swinging dick at all. On a frozen breath, he muttered, “Yeah, well, you don’t know what being Alpha means either, Ronin.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Ronin snarled, standing.

  “It means we all know what you’re going to do,” he yelled, rounding on him. The man had fresh claw marks on his arms and ribs. Maybe he was one of the lions in the fight outside of the cabin earlier. “You’ll leave us here and go guns a-blazing at Cassius alone. Right? Because of this girl?”

  The others were gathering around now.

  “It’s not your fight,” Ronin murmured.

  “It is! You’ve made it our fight. We are backing you. We went against our friends and family to back you.”

  “And when it comes to fighting the Old Tarian Pride? Huh, Kannon? What will you do? How will you feel? Because we just had a meeting and you were all still sympathizing with them.”

  “Is it loyalty you’re questioning?” Kannon growled, his eyes the color of sunlight. “Because if you’re really questioning if we would have your back…then why the fuck are you here? Why the fuck did you take this throne?”

  “He’s…he’s just taking me back to Cassius. Nothing more,” Emerald said in a mouse-quiet voice.

  “Oh, she speaks!”

  “Careful,” Ronin rumbled, tipping his chin back and looking down his straight nose at Kannon.

  It was Rose who stepped in between the dominant lion shifters. “What Kannon is saying has merit. At some point, you’re going to have to trust us. You can’t fight a war all on your own. Cassius will win if we’re weak, and what you’re doing? Acting like you’re still a rogue lion? It will make us all weak.”

  The others began to walk away, and Emerald could see it so clearly. There was a crack in this Pride the size of a canyon. On one side was the Alpha, and on the other were the rest of them.

  “Can I make an observation?” she said as loud as she could. Only it came out a whisper.

  When Ronin looked down at her, she wanted to hang her head, but there was no time for that. Standing, she clenched her fists and found her bravery. Louder, she asked, “Can I say something?”

  The others slowed and turned. “Are you here to make judgements?”
Kannon asked.

  “N-no.” She swallowed hard. “I have no right to judge anyone. I just wanted to point out that Ronin is trying to protect you.” She shrugged. “I can see that clear as day, but you don’t.”

  “Was he trying to protect us when he killed the Second of the Old Tarian Pride last night?” a tall man with a limp asked. “By himself?”

  “Yeah, Gray,” Ronin answered for her. “Do you want to know why?”

  Gray frowned and shifted his weight to his sturdier leg. “Yeah, actually.”

  “Because,” Ronin said, “my life is less important than yours.”

  Rose frowned. “What?”

  “You are the good that came from the Tarian Pride. You’re the misfits. You could’ve joined in with every other fuckin’ lion in existence and rebuilt a council immediately. But you…what, a dozen of you? Stood up to everyone. There is no council right now because you have been rallying against it. You were the ones who wanted change, and you didn’t just sit by and let the same shit that’s been happening for generations happen again. You stood up and said, ‘That’s enough.’” Ronin’s smile was half wicked, half proud. “I just want to make sure you’re ready before I ask you to fight the people who used to be in your Pride.”

  “They were in your Pride, too,” Kannon pointed out.

  Ronin growled softly.

  “I think you should do team-building projects,” Emerald suggested, hunkering down into her jacket as she made her way toward the others.

  “Lady, we just Changed together. You can’t get much more team-building than that.” He held out his hand as she meandered closer. “I’m Terrence.”

  “Hi,” she murmured, giving his hand a shake. “Emerald.”

  “We know,” the man said with a chuckle. “We all remember you.”

  “You do?”

  “Uh, yeah,” Kannon murmured. “Why do you think we aren’t over here screaming ‘spy’? You hated this place as a cub.”

  “That, and you came in with a pretty gnarly shiner,” Terrence said darkly. “Pretty sure you were dragged back to Old Tarian, and pretty sure you have every right to hate that Pride just as much as we do.”