Red Havoc Guardian (Red Havoc Panthers Book 4) Read online

  Her eyes were probably the size of twin moons as she checked over her shoulder at the girls at the table on the other side of the bar. They were pigging out on wings and sweet potato fries and were laughing about something. She wished she could hear them.

  When she looked back at Grey, he said, “I’ll have you so fast, they won’t even miss us.”

  Okay then. Gen hustled to the hallway and followed Grey past the bathrooms to an office in the back. He shut the door behind them and thank goodness someone had left a little desk lamp on, because Grey didn’t bother to turn on the main light. He just rounded on her and slid his arms around her waist, lifted her off the floor so she could wrap her legs around him. And then he walked them to the wall until her back was pressed hard against it. Grey rocked his erection into her, and even through her jeans, he hit her perfectly.

  They didn’t have time for fooling around or the girls really would miss them, so Gen pulled at his shirt with desperate, shaking fingers. Grey only stopped kissing her long enough to set her down and push her pants down her legs, but then she was back up, legs wrapped around his hips, his mouth urgent on hers again. He didn’t prepare her, but she didn’t need it. She’d been turned on all night watching him manage the bar and order everyone around. He was so confident, so sure of himself. He was powerful even if he pretended he wasn’t. Even if he chose to be the bottom of his crew.

  Grey slid into her by a few inches, withdrew, and then bucked his hips and slammed deep inside her. She made a sound in her throat at how good he felt inside of her but didn’t give a single care right now. He held her tightly and pumped into her so deep, and so fast, she was already on the edge. With one hand, she held onto the back of his neck for balance, and with the other, she gripped the back of his hair. Harder and harder he pounded her until the pressure was blinding. So good. This felt soooo good. His teeth went to her neck, and she shattered, pulsing around his shaft. Grey slammed into her deep and joined her release. His dick throbbed inside her with every slow pump of his hips, and that strange and sexy rattling sensation was back, vibrating from his chest to hers.

  Their heartbeats raced each other, and their breaths came ragged, and when Grey eased back, he was smiling so big his teeth showed white in the dim lamplight. He looked like a proud rooster, and it made her giggle. She could tell it made a sound though from the feel of it in her throat, and she got self-conscious and looked away.

  Grey’s finger was gentle on her jaw as he pulled her attention back to him. “I. Love. Your. Laugh.”

  Gen dragged her knuckles against his blond beard and tested a voice she couldn’t hear. “I. Love. You.”

  Grey inhaled sharply and shook his head, looking at her with an expression that said she was beautiful. Like she was the moon and the stars. She’d never witnessed a dominant man like him look so emotional. He kissed her lips, her nose, each of her cheeks, then her forehead.

  And when he eased back, his lips formed the most important words she’d ever seen. “I. Love. You. Too.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Grey inhaled deeply and stretched behind her. She’d always been a light sleeper, so any movement he made in the night, she had adjusted with him. He’d dropped the girls off but had asked her to stay in his bed tonight. He hadn’t even tried anything with her, just held her as they fell asleep. Even now, in the silver light before dawn, he pulled her closer against his torso.

  His chest vibrated with his words, and Gen forced her eyes open so she could read his lips.

  “I’ll be back in a little while. Get some more sleep, Gen. I’ll bring back breakfast.”

  He wasn’t smiling though, and his eyes were tight. Something was wrong.

  Desperate to stall him leaving, she mouthed slowly, Why did Jenny call you Ghost Cat last night?

  He frowned and dragged a light touch along the edge of her earlobe. “Because I keep to myself. I stay as invisible as I can. I’m at home in the shadows.”

  It didn’t seem to bother him, but she didn’t like that nickname. Grey wasn’t a ghost. He was a good man. She saw him just fine.

  Grey let his lips linger against her forehead and hugged her close. She held on too, pressed against his naked body under the sheets because she didn’t understand why he was worked up, why his eyes were gold, or the rattle in his chest was constant. She pressed her palm against his pec to see if she could settle the sound there, but it vibrated on. There was a lot in Grey’s life that she couldn’t fix, or even improve, and she hated it. The man carried so much more of the world on his shoulders than he admitted. He’d been hiding how he protected the Red Havoc Crew, hiding his run-ins with the lions. And now he was staring out the window in the dim light before dawn with trouble brewing in every facet of his face. He was stroking her hair, running his fingers through it, but his eyes were dead.

  Greyson looked like he was preparing for war.

  He nipped at her neck and then rolled out of bed. His back was to her as he dressed, and then he disappeared into the bathroom to come back a few minutes later smelling of mint toothpaste when he leaned down and kissed her. “Sleep.”

  She tried to hold onto his hand, but he let his fingertips slip out of hers and left the room. A few seconds later, the vibration of the front door shutting brushed her skin. Frowning, Gen got up, wrapped the sheet around her, and padded toward the window. It was barely light outside, but illuminated enough she could see Grey walk toward his waiting alpha. Ben looked somber as he watched Greyson approach. They talked for a minute, but she couldn’t read their lips from here.

  And then Grey and Ben removed their clothes and their panthers ripped out of them like magic.

  Within the span of a quick breath, they were fighting like they wanted to kill each other.

  It made her sick to watch them slapping, clawing, biting. Her inner gorilla wanted to explode out of her skin and help Grey, but he’d said that wouldn’t fix it. It would only drag out whatever he and Ben were trying to work out. The fight seemed to last for hours, but it was probably a minute, perhaps two, tops. Grey disengaged and slunk into the woods, black fur matted and wet, long claw marks down his shoulder, his ears flat as he disappeared like a phantom into Red Havoc Woods.

  He wouldn’t want her seeing him hurt, so she stayed right where she was, watching out the window for her panther to return. All the while, she felt sick. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Grey should be in bed with her, not being bled by his alpha. This was her fault. Ben was hurting him because she wasn’t leaving, but what were her options? Leave Grey? That felt impossible now. Stay? That also felt impossible when Grey was off in those woods bleeding somewhere.

  Be brave?

  She’d been fucking brave and chosen the life she wanted…and now it was hurting the man she loved.

  Chapter Fourteen

  One week.

  Torren had said he would call in one week, but he hadn’t. Gen had checked her phone a hundred times today, and no call, no message, no nothing. Shit, shit, shit.

  She tried calling him again, but it went straight to voicemail, just like every other time. Something had gone wrong.

  If something bad happened to Torren…

  God, she couldn’t even think like that. Couldn’t imagine life without her big brother. He’d been there to protect her for always. They’d grown up having each other’s backs because they’d been raised right outside of Damon’s Mountains. She’d relied on Torren growing up. He was her brother, but also her best friend.

  She wanted to talk to someone, share the burden, but Grey had been pulling away over the last couple of days. It was Ben’s fault. Gen wrung her hands as she sat on the steps of 1010 and stared out at the daisy field. Many of the little white flowers were painted with crimson now. Every morning, at the same time, Ben waited for Grey out in this field, and Grey met him, every day. And every day, she watched her mate be punished for her being here. She watched him bleed. She watched him hold back and pull out of the fight without hurting Ben. Somethin
g bad was happening to him though, on the insides. Grey’s smile didn’t come as easy, and he hurt. He wasn’t healing as fast. He was hiding injuries from her, but she saw everything. She watched him undress after he worked at the bar every night, traced the claw marks on his back and arms and chest. She winced at the teeth marks that had ruined the skin of his neck. Not even his tattoos could hide the scars now.

  Every time she asked him if she should leave, he would get angry and hold her so tightly. And then he would beg her not to go. “Never go. Don’t leave me, or I can’t do this.” But “this” was a concept she didn’t understand, and he wouldn’t explain.

  Gen had told herself to wait the week, and if Torren took care of any danger Sean posed, then she would go to Ben again, tell him she was safe for the crew, and he could stop punishing Grey. She really, really needed the punishment to stop because, inside of her, the gorilla wanted to rip Ben apart limb-by-limb. She hadn’t Changed all week just to make sure she could keep in control around him.

  The crew was sitting around a fire pit in front of Ben and Jenny’s cabin, talking. Twice, Eden had waved her over, but Gen had ignored them. They were good at including her—amazing, actually—but she’d seen herself in the mirror. Silver eyes that wouldn’t turn human blue anymore because the gorilla wanted out of her skin so badly. Red Havoc was full of dominant monsters, and she could trigger their Changes too, if she wasn’t careful. Plus, she was waiting for Grey to get back from moonshine deliveries.

  Gen checked her phone again. Nothing. Fuck. Torren, where are you?

  The fine hairs on her arms rose, and she felt watched. When she arched her gaze back to the bonfire, Ben was staring at her with a calculating look in his blue eyes. Gen barely resisted the urge to flip him off before she gave her attention back to the bloody daisies.

  The sun was setting behind her, behind the mountains that surrounded Red Havoc Territory, and it made the shadows of the trees long. It saturated everything in gray light. Gray. Grey. Grey was light.

  Just the thought of leaving him felt like a knife in the heart, but she couldn’t watch him bleed every day because of her. That’s not what love was. It wasn’t hurting the person who meant everything just so she could be comfortable and stay here.

  Grey’s truck bumped slowly up the dirt road toward her. He parked by her Mustang, a tight smile for her on his lips. But the second he looked over at the bonfire, his eyes went dead again. Ben was standing now, removing his shirt, eyes locked on Greyson.

  No, no, no, it wasn’t morning yet, and they’d just fought twelve hours ago. Grey wouldn’t be healed enough for this.

  He shoved the door open and spat on the ground. When he cast her a quick glance, his eyes were vivid gold and his face was twisted in a feral mask of fury. Gen stood and bolted for him, then stood in front of him as he walked, pushing against his chest.

  “Stop it, Gen.” He tried to avoid her, but she stuck on him like glitter on glue because this was messed up. It was more than she could take, more than she could bear.

  Desperately, she looked to Eden and Jaxon for help, and thank God, Jax was headed her way. But when he reached them, he pulled Gen off Grey by the waist.

  She fought viciously, kicking his shins, but his grip on her only tightened, and now Grey was almost to Ben in the field of bloody flowers. “No!” she screamed loud, the words scratching up her throat. She didn’t care if it was off-key or thick-sounding. She didn’t care about anything but saving Grey. His arm under his sleeve was mauled still from the fight this morning. “Noooo,” she screamed again, struggling as Jax and Eden and Barret now held her. The gorilla was here, ready. She was going to kill Ben. Kill. Ben. Kill him. Protect Grey.

  Eden stood in front of her, so Gen craned her neck, trying to see around her. Get the fuck out of the way!

  Eden was signing something, her eyes serious. Signing something…fast…in simple alphabet. Ben is trying to help.

  Jax released Gen’s arms, but not her waist.

  “Fuck Ben,” Gen yelled.

  No, not fuck Ben, Eden was mouthing the words with her sign language now. Grey is supposed to be alpha!

  Gen stared at her, completely shocked to stillness. “What?” she signed.

  “Can’t you feel him, Gen? Can’t you feel the cat inside of him? He tried to hide it, but he can’t hide from Ben. Ben isn’t the most dominant panther here. He’s pushing him because he has to, Gen. And you have to let him do it. Balance has to be restored to Red Havoc. You brought out Grey’s protective instincts, his dominance. There’s no more hiding for him.”

  Grey and Ben were talking now, shirts off, chests puffed up. They both looked pissed. Oh God, they’d been fighting alpha fights? Ben didn’t understand!

  Gen turned on Jax and let her gorilla out enough to roar in his face. Smart man let her go, and she bolted for Grey. Before she reached him though, Ben held out his hand. “Stop. Gen, this needs to happen.”

  “Why?” she asked out loud. Fuck what she sounded like. “Why!” she screamed.

  It was Grey who answered, enunciating his words carefully. “Ben thinks I want alpha.”

  Ben’s face turned beet red. “No! I think you need it. I can’t run this crew when no one listens to my orders. I couldn’t figure out why everyone was disobeying my orders all the fucking time, and then it hit me the day Gen showed up, the day you let your guard down, and I felt your monster! The crew isn’t minding me because there is another contender for alpha.” Ben jammed his finger against Grey’s chest. “You.”

  Gen was crying tears of anger, but screw everything. She signed simply to Grey, I thought you were being punished because of me.

  Grey hugged her so fast, so hard, it stole her breath away. He gripped her hair in the back and made her look at his face. “Ben’s trying to get me to fight. He used kicking you out of the territory to get me riled up. I don’t want alpha. I don’t want to fight. I’m stuck. I’m not my father. I don’t need power. Don’t want it. I want bottom of the crew. My dad reached for Alpha, and look where he is? And look where that hunger for power got me! Banished from my crew. I just want to be invisible.” Grey looked sick as he searched her eyes for understanding. “I just want to be invisible with you.”

  Gen clutched his arms and sobbed because, God, she hadn’t known he was fighting this war alone. He hadn’t reached his potential, and now Ben was trying to push him to it. But the more Grey fought being like his father, the more he got hurt. And suddenly, it hit her. She’d hated Ben this week. Hated him for hurting her mate, hated him for being a bad alpha. But he wasn’t being a bad alpha. He was trying to help. Trying to restore the balance of his crew, even if that meant giving up his place as king of these mountains.

  Ben was trying to get Grey to rise up and fight for his throne.

  I just want to be invisible with you.

  “Grey,” she said, hoping to God her words sounded okay. “You. Aren’t. A. Ghost.”

  Her phone vibrated in her back pocket.

  She ignored it because Grey had her trapped in his gaze. He rested his hands on his hips and snarled up his lip, shaking his head. Ben was moving toward her mate, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Grey’s churning, golden eyes.

  Her phone vibrated again and again, back-to-back. Grey was yelling at Ben now, the veins standing out in his neck as he unbuttoned his jeans. He didn’t want to do this, but what choice did he have? Balance was pivotal to a crew staying intact. His panther was hurting the dynamics here by not taking his place in the ranking of dominance.

  Her phone vibrated again. Gen yanked it out of her back pocket and sighed in relief when she saw Torren’s name on the caller ID. But the weight slammed back down onto her shoulders the second she read his messages.

  Gen I was wrong

  The Crew of Two Wars

  The first one is yours

  Get inside!!!! Get everyone inside. Help is coming.

  What? Terrified, she scanned the woods, but they’d gone eerily still. They’d tu
rned scary as the final rays of daylight struggled to reach deeper into the forest.

  When a massive shadow moved across the tree line, Gen patted the air, utterly stunned by the terror that filled her chest, but trying to get the boys’ attention. “Grey,” she said, forcing air past her vocal cords to a whisper.

  The shadow in the woods came closer. Her heart banged against her ribcage when she laid eyes on the enormous, blue-eyed silverback who had taken everything from her—her pride, her money, her chance at hearing. She’d run for good reason, but he was here for her. Torren hadn’t been able to stop Beaston’s Crew of Two Wars prophesy.

  “Grey,” she repeated, wishing so badly she could hear what he and the alpha were yelling, but their lips moved too fast for her to read, and now they were circling each other. Gen was frozen in panic as Sean charged, his meaty knuckles punching the earth with each stride, his eyes filled with rage. His deadly gaze was on Grey. Oh, God. He knew she had paired up, and he was in this for a kill. It was the gorillas’ way. He would have Grey’s exposed neck snapped like a twig before Grey even knew he was in danger.

  Behind the charging silverback, the trees shook with shadows, limbs snapping, hitting the ground, leaves raining as the females from her family group screamed and bore their long teeth. And like Sean had given them a signal, all of them, all thirty females, hit the ground and were charging, too.

  Grey was too far away and focused, so was Ben. All she could do was protect her mate from the first wave of destruction—Sean.

  Rage boiled her blood, and all she saw was red. He’d taken enough. She would be damned if he took Grey away from her, too. With a roar of fury, she let the gorilla have her body. Fuck being submissive. Fuck being half Sean’s weight. Fuck the little voice inside her head that used to say she wasn’t good enough, wasn’t strong enough, that she couldn’t do this. She killed that voice the second her knuckles hit the blood-stained flowers. Lips curled back so Sean could see what was coming for his throat, she charged him, cut off his line of sight to Grey. His focus shifted to her, but she wasn’t backing down, she wasn’t slowing down, and she sure as shit wasn’t playing chicken tonight.