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  The emotion fell from his face so fast his ears moved slightly. He looked utterly stunned. “Say that again.”

  Ash inhaled deeply and stroked his dark beard. “The people you care about the most, you keep your distance from. Because you want to keep us.”

  Grim turned his head toward the woods fast, but she’d already seen it—the moisture that had built in his eyes. The emotion there. She was breaking him again. Breaking him so she could help him put himself back together.

  Sometimes breaking a man was necessary.

  “How do I fix that?” he asked, his voice scratchy and deep, thick with pain, the heart kind. She was the only one who could read him like a book, no one else.

  “You figure out you’re safe with us,” she whispered, and then she kissed the top of his head. “And then you own your faults, apologize when you’re wrong, reward us for sticking around.”

  “How?”

  “By letting us in. Let your Crew know you. The real you. That’s the best Christmas present you could give any of us, Grim. You.”

  His sigh tapered into a growl, but there was a smile in his voice when he uttered, “All I wanted to do was come here and find a Crew who would put me down, and you’re ruining all my plans.”

  She snickered. “Good. I want to bone you for a hundred years. Sorry, mister, but you’re going to have to stick around. You have shit to accomplish.”

  “You’re shivering.”

  “Well, I’m naked and it’s freezing out here.”

  “But you’re a bear.”

  “Still cold! I was all warm and bundled up in a nice jacket and my favorite skinny jeans that only make me muffin top a little, and you made me rip them up Changing into a bear.”

  “You didn’t have to Change,” he pointed out, folding her suddenly into his arms and lifting her like she weighed no more than a holiday ornament. “You could’ve just let me kill Rhett.”

  “Does the pebble he gave you really talk?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his bare shoulders.

  “You’re so fucking cute wearing nothing but snow boots.”

  “No changing subjects on me.”

  Grim let off a little growl as he made his way into the woods in the direction of the trailer park. He was getting stompier in the snow as they went along, but she needed to know the level of his crazy so she could accept it all.

  “Its name is Rebble the Pebble and it shit-talks to me in Rhett’s voice. Currently he’s singing Christmas songs, but during the choruses, he sings in fart sounds.”

  Ash snorted. She didn’t mean to! But she couldn’t help it. It was kind of funny. “Well, why do you keep carrying it around?”

  Grim shrugged his massive shoulders. “I dunno. Sometimes it says funny stuff. And every once in a while it’s nice to hear funny stuff instead of the Reaper just repeating the words, ‘Kill them’ every thirty seconds.”

  “Reaper!”

  Grim snapped those bright yellow eyes right to her, and his pupils pinpointed. “Yes?”

  “Stop trying to kill your friends.”

  “Reaper doesn’t have friends.”

  “False. You have friends and a girlfriend.”

  “Mate,” he corrected.

  “Not yet,” she said, lifting her chin primly.

  Grim narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “I have zero claiming marks. Only you have one. You’re my mate, but I’m still just a girlfriend.”

  For a moment, his face looked totally feral. Like there was only wild, injured, furious animal there and no man at all. But the twisted snarl faded away in a second, and Grim’s eyes faded to a soft brown. “How did your interview go?”

  Ash scrunched up her face and hugged his shoulders tighter as he ducked them under a low-hanging branch. “I didn’t get the job.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I messed up all my words, and she had to keep asking me to repeat myself. She asked me three times what I meant by my answers, and then I got so nervous I mostly thought about my messed-up sock and just looked down at my hands and stopped answering her questions altogether. She told me, ‘It was nice to meet you. Good luck with your job-hunt’ right before I left.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. I can’t do good at interviews with strangers. I don’t understand them.”

  “But you understand me, and Remi and Juno. Even Rhett and Kamp, and they are both idiots.”

  “Yeah, but I’m comfortable with the Crew. My thoughts get all jumbled up when I talk to other people. It’s always been like that.”

  “Well, that means it wasn’t the job for you. You’ll find another—”

  “I wanted to buy your grandma a plane ticket here,” she blurted out.

  Grim stopped right at the edge of the clearing of the trailer park. “What?”

  “For Christmas. For your present. I wanted to bring her here so you didn’t have to spend a single Christmas away from her.”

  “But…I always had to spend them away from her. The council gave me jobs on Christmas.”

  “To keep you tough, they separated you from her. But you aren’t in the Tarian Pride anymore. There is no council.” She wiggled out of his arms and hugged him up tight, way up on her tiptoes because Grim was a giant. “Year one out of the Tarian Pride, and shits-a-changin’. I wanted to help it turn around even more, but I don’t have much room on my credit card, and I don’t feel comfortable charging to it when I don’t have a job. And now I don’t know what to do for you, and I’m going to mess up your first Christmas outside of the Pride.”

  Grim pressed his lips against hers. He held there for a two-count before he softened his mouth and moved against hers. His tongue brushed her lips, and she opened for him, excitement building in her middle. She would never, ever get tired of kissing this man.

  He ran his fingers through her hair, then held her face inches from his. “Just the fact you thought about giving me a good first Christmas and bringing my grandma here is the best present in the world. You really love me, don’t you?”

  Ash nodded. “Always. Silly man, don’t you see? I gave my whole heart to you.” She shrugged up her shoulders because she was a shrugger and smiled with her head canted to the side. “I’m here.”

  His smile stretched slowly across his face and lit up his brown eyes. “And I’m here.”

  Then his eyes changed to yellow. “Me, too,” he said in a demon’s voice.

  His eyes changed to the green of his nice lion. “Me three.”

  Grim growled long and low and then gritted his teeth before he said, “Rebble says ‘Me four.’”

  Ash cracked up. “I like your kind of crazy.”

  “Dear God, woman, you are the only one in the world who would ever say that.”

  Another Ash-shrug. “Maybe no one else could handle it, but you’re easy to me. We just fit.”

  “Mmmm,” he rumbled, leading her by the hand toward the trailer at the very far end of the park. 1010. “Or maybe you were just built to accept a man like me.” He tossed her a quick grin. “Or maybe you just have terrible taste in men.”

  She smacked his arm, and he laughed.

  “Rebble says he agrees. Terrible taste.”

  “Well, I secured an Alpha of a Crew and a trailer park, so who is the real winner?”

  Grim snorted as they climbed the stairs of 1010. “Still not you.” He squeezed her hand and turned to her right before she reached for the door handle. “Ash?”

  “Yes?” she asked, confused at how serious he’d suddenly become.

  “I heard you earlier.”

  “Well…good, because I’m very loud when I talk.”

  “No, no, I don’t mean that. I mean…I paid attention when you told me I need to let the Crew in. I’ll do better.”

  She smiled and leaned up, kissed his lips. “I know,” she whispered as she eased away and rested her forehead onto his. “Someday you will be a great Alpha, Grim. You just have some work to do to
get there, but I know you can do it. You and the Reaper both. And Rebble. You have people now. Not just a council controlling you. I mean, you have a support system. And I’ll be here the whole way, cheering you on and keeping you on track.”

  “Vyr told me once to create a team of people who care enough to stop me when I go off the rails.”

  “Vyr is off the rails,” she pointed out, visions of him burning Tarian Pride Crew territory still fresh in her mind. “But he was right about that.”

  “Today, you stopped me when I went after Rhett. You even bit me to bring me back, and when you did that, Vyr’s words were loud in my head. So…I guess what I’m saying is…thank you. For stopping me.”

  “Babe, I’m like the Guardian of the Reaper.”

  Grim chuckled. “Okay that’s a cool-ass nickname, but you shouldn’t have to take that job on. I have to get better at this.”

  “Okay!” She was motivated now. She was going to help him and be his biggest cheerleader. “Step one—stop trying to kill everyone.”

  “And step two?”

  She grinned so big, her cheeks hurt. “Believe in Christmas.”

  Chapter Four

  It felt like Antarctica out here this morning.

  Grim swung the ax down again, splitting the log in half so efficiently, both pieces flew off the chopping block. It had to be ten degrees out with this wind chill. Smelled like snow, and the dark clouds above backed that theory. A winter storm would probably open up on them today.

  Vyr hadn’t sent paychecks since they’d gone to war with his Crew. The Red Dragon owned these mountains and did what he wanted. The Rogue Pride Crew had stopped Vyr from claiming the mountains Grim’s grandmother lived in, and now the dragon was pissed. Grim had called him three times, only to be ignored. He was more of a hash-this-shit-out-face-to-face kind of man, but Ash didn’t want that. She was afraid the dragon would lose his temper and turn Grim to ash. Ha. Turn Grim to Ash.

  “You swing an ax like a girl,” Rebble observed unhelpfully from his pocket. Why Grim kept carrying the damned thing, he couldn’t figure out. Mouthy little rock. It wasn’t even an imaginary friend. It was an imaginary enemy. Who did that?

  “Well,” he muttered, “I don’t know if you noticed, you little shit, but the girls in this Crew are badasses, so I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

  “You swing an ax like a six-year-old girl.”

  Grim hated everything.

  “Hey, boss?” Rhett said from behind him.

  Grim nearly jumped out of his skin and stopped the ax mid swing. “Holy fuck, Rhett! Don’t sneak up on a man like that.”

  “Uh, I tromped over here from my trailer like a limping rhinoceros. You weren’t paying attention. Probably thanks to you talking to yourself. Again.”

  “It’s the dumb rock you gave me,” Grim muttered, resting the blade of the ax in the snow and leaning against the handle.

  Rhett gave a mushy smile that made Grim want to barf. “I kept mine, too,” he said, fishing his own rock out of his pocket. “So I can remember the day we became friends.”

  Old Grim would’ve reminded Rhett that he hated him and he didn’t have friends, but he really had listened to Ash when she said he needed to let people in.

  Rhett popped up the collar of his jacket and zipped it up. “It’s cold as fuck out here this morning,” he said, taking a seat on the wood pile against Grim’s trailer. “Gonna be brutal working today.”

  “Yeah, well, you aren’t getting out of it,” Grim grumbled, picking up another log to split.

  “I don’t want to get out of it.”

  Grim waited for a punchline, but Rhett just stared at him.

  “You know,” Rhett said, “the first day we hit our numbers…I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of myself.”

  “What? You’re a famous musician. You don’t need this place or some number on a piece of paper. You’re already successful.”

  “Not true. I didn’t see myself as successful until I met Juno. Until I learned what made her happy, until I could work all the machines here, until I could go a whole day without fighting with you or Kamp. My music career? That’s temporary. It only takes one mistake, and I’m out of favor in the public eye. And we both know I’ll fuck it up sooner or later,” he said with a grin.

  Grim nodded because, well, he really fuckin’ agreed with that.

  “But this place is bigger. You know?”

  As far away from Rhett as possible, Grim sat on the woodpile and spun the ax blade slowly in the snow, making a little circle. “I don’t really know how to do this.”

  “Do what?” Kamp asked, striding around the side of the trailer with a trio of coffee cups in his hands.

  Grim muttered a “thank you” as he took one Kamp offered him. No one had ever brought him coffee before.

  “I mean, I don’t know how to do any of this.”

  “Well, there ain’t no instructions, but that’s the beauty of this Crew,” Kamp said, taking a seat beside Rhett. He sipped his coffee and made an “aaaaah” sound, then said, “Every Crew is different. We all accepted a long time ago that we were all gonna fuck this up. And we have. But we’re still here, and the girls are happy.”

  “That matters a lot to me,” Grim rumbled.

  “It happens when you find the one,” Rhett said. “It changes your perspective. You go along living your life selfishly for years and you get in the habit of caring about your comfort, then all of a sudden, you have someone who smiles when you make them comfortable. Someone you love. And that becomes more important than yourself.”

  “Rebble just called you a pussy,” Grim said with a snort.

  “Really?” Rhett asked.

  “No, not really.” Grim’s sigh tapered into a growl. “He only insults me.”

  Kamp let off a bellowing laugh. Just one. And then Rhett snickered. And as much as Grim tried not to laugh, too, he couldn’t help himself. The three biggest fuck-ups were sitting on a woodpile at five am, cracking up, freezing their balls off, and talking about life like they knew what the hell they were doing. And he was king of the fuck-ups!

  Wiping the corners of his eyes, Grim cleared his throat and said, “How about we hit the quota today? Hit it, and I’ll buy you all a beer in town after. We’ll bring the girls and get a break from the mountain. Give them a good night.”

  Kamp and Rhett were just sitting there staring at him. Just…staring. Unblinking. The only movement from them was the steam coming from their coffee cups.

  “What?” he growled.

  “Did you…?” Rhett whispered. “Did you just invite us to hang out?”

  Grim snarled and stood, leaned the ax against the woodpile, and stomped past them. For good measure, he shoved Rhett hard enough in the shoulder that he spilled half of his coffee and then Grim demanded, “Don’t be weird about it.”

  He walked toward his jobsite with a smile on his face.

  Not because he cared—

  “Liar,” Rebble said.

  —but because he’d made Rhett spill his coffee.

  “You love them, you soft little weenie-boy,” Rebble said in a smug voice.

  Kill them, the Reaper whispered as usual.

  “No,” Grim said, but he couldn’t for the life of him tell if he was talking to the Reaper or arguing with the rock in his pocket.

  No matter, though. Grim was in a good mood and motivated. He was going to work his ass off today, come home to Ash tonight, and then take her out, because Rhett was right about one thing. Ash’s comfort was more important than his. He breathed for her smiles.

  She’d said the best Christmas present he could give the Crew was himself. Well, he thought that was insane because he mostly belittled them and tried to murder them, but okay. He would put in the effort and have a night out with the Crew.

  And maybe that would make Ash smile a lot.

  Soft little weenie-boy? Whatever.

  Not even imaginary insults could get to him today.

  Grim w
as a monster on a mission, and that mission was to fuck up a little less today. Sure as shit, he didn’t know what he was doing as an Alpha, but his Crew seemed to be fine with a D-minus leader, so there really wasn’t that much pressure. Their expectations were non-existent, thanks to him setting the bar exceptionally low.

  Grim shrugged and hunkered down into his jacket as he stepped onto the trail that led to the forest he’d been clearing.

  Fighting his Alpha rank here hadn’t done him any good, so maybe he would try something new now—like failing less.

  Why the hell not?

  Chapter Five

  “Oh, good, now hell has frozen over, too,” Remi murmured.

  Maybe it really had. Ash stared dumbfounded at the trio of giants who strode through the snow. Grim was up front but only by a few paces, and Kamp and Rhett were at his flanks. They looked exhausted, half-frozen, but all three of them were matching. With smiles.

  “Whaaaat the heeeeell?” Juno whispered from where she was draping holiday lights around the porch railing of 1010. “Y’all are seeing this, too…right?”

  “Does it look like friendship?” Ash asked.

  “Yep,” Remi said from where she sat crisscross applesauce on the bright red plastic lawn chair Ash had dragged onto the porch.

  “Then yes. I see it, too.”

  “Maybe they’re playing a prank,” Juno theorized.

  When Ash looked at her friends’ faces, they were matching, too, with suspicious, squinty eyes. Ash believed in the boys, though. Sure, they liked to try to kill each other, but they could also be friends.

  She and the girls had been setting up the perfect holiday picture right in front of 1010, complete with cases of Pen15 Juice on the porch and bright holiday lights all over the singlewide trailer, and a trio of giant candy canes propped up against the porch. They’d tried really hard to track down a baby donkey to put some reindeer antlers on, but had failed. None of the neighbors would even let them borrow a tame-ish cow. Two had told them they knew Rogue Pride was full of shifters and didn’t want their livestock eaten. Juno had hung up dramatically both times and then said she was going to go eat a cow from each of their herds on principle, but she was also on her period and a little grumpy. She wouldn’t really do that. Probably.