Axman Werebear (Saw Bears Book 5) Read online

  “Was it solitary at your dad’s house?”

  “Very.”

  “Does this place make you uncomfortable?”

  “I’m still deciding.”

  “Look, about today. I know it’s kind of our honeymoon—”

  “Trailer park stay-cation—”

  “But I just got back from Colorado yesterday morning, and I feel like a jerk bailing on the guys after a week off and with them behind on deadlines.”

  “Bruiser, stop. It’s fine. I can explore this place without everyone here, and after the whirlwind of our…marriage…yesterday, it would probably do me good to get some alone time and figure out where my head is at.”

  “Hey,” he said, cupping her soft cheeks in his palms. “About our marriage. I know it wasn’t either of our choices, but I’m really happy you turned out to be…you.” Her smile made his heart thump harder, and harder still when she pressed her hand against his chest as if she wanted to feel how she affected him.

  “You aren’t just my wife, Diem. You’re my mate. One my bear approves of. You settle him when you’re around. You feel just right in my life. I just wanted you to know before I leave that you’re it for me, and I’ll work to make you happy as long as you’ll let me.”

  Diem scrunched up her pert little nose, then drew her shoulders up as a soft squeal left her throat. She snuggled closer against him until he couldn’t see her face anymore, so he gave up trying and rested his chin on top of her head.

  “You make me happy, too,” she whispered. “I think I like you.”

  “Oooh, the cold dragon does harbor warm feelings after all.”

  Diem pinched him and giggled, then said, “Don’t make me eat you. I get terrible indigestion when I eat big burly men this early in the morning.”

  “Speaking of eating,” he whispered against her hair.

  “You hungry?”

  He bit his lip and glared at the door, calculating how long he’d been lounging in bed with his mate. He probably had fifteen minutes before Kellen came back. “Yeah, for you.”

  “Meaning?”

  He cast her a wicked grin, then threw the covers over their heads and went down on her. She tensed when he spread her knees apart, but relaxed into his touch when he kissed the sensitive nub she’d discovered last night. Damn, she tasted as good as she smelled.

  Her hips rocked when he pushed his tongue into her for the first time, and he knew he had her. Hands in his hair, gripping, begging for more, soft pants and moans coming from her lips as he ate her. Fuck, she was sexy, all vulnerable and open with him like this. Three more strokes of his tongue, and her body clenched around him hard. His name came to her lips soft, like a prayer, and she loosened her grip in his hair as she rolled against him a couple more times. He didn’t leave her until he’d felt every aftershock, and when at last he eased away and bit her inner thigh gently, she shuddered and let off a satisfied sigh.

  He couldn’t help the triumphant grin on his face if he tried. His mate was a noisy little critter when she was with him, and he reveled in the fact that he was able to draw those sexy sounds from her.

  If his niggling guilt would lay off for a minute, he would’ve begged a sick day and spent from sun up to sun down with Diem, exploring her body. With a low growl, he lifted off her, kissed her neck, then made for the bathroom. His erection was so hard it was uncomfortable.

  Diem sauntered into the bathroom and crossed her arms, hungry eyes on his dick. “That was difficult.”

  Worry slashed through his chest as he checked the temperature of the tap water he’d turned on in the shower. “What was?”

  “Not asking you to make love to me.”

  He rolled his head down until his chin rested on his chest from the relief that washed over him. He looked back up at his mate, all sleep-tangled hair and bright eyes, naked and open, and looking like a goddess come to the trailer park. “I like that you didn’t just call it breeding.”

  “I know the difference now.” Her voice pitched low as she dropped her gaze to the gray bathmat under his feet. “It wouldn’t be like that—cold and unfeeling. Scientific. Not with you.”

  “No, it damn-sure wouldn’t. I like you too much to just fuck you. You’re special to me, Diem.”

  “I know.” Her smile was shy and slow. “I can tell.”

  ****

  Before Father had fired her from helping with his companies so she could perform as his prized broodmare, Diem’s days had been full and busy. And though she didn’t miss being slammed from the minute she woke up until the minute she fell into bed every night, she had been filled with a need to constantly do something because of her years handling his business affairs at all hours of the day and night.

  After waving Bruiser off this morning, it had become clear she didn’t know how to relax and enjoy downtime. Not by herself. She’d already walked every inch of the place, trying to remember who lived in which trailer. Bruiser had told her when she got hungry for lunch to let herself into his house next to 1010 and fix what she liked.

  Still, it was strange walking into someone’s home for the first time without them being there. As she stepped over the top stair of his porch, she got the overwhelming urge to knock first, though she knew no one was there.

  With a steadying breath, she pushed open the door and padded into the entryway. This trailer’s floorplan was similar to 1010, but flipped. An open kitchen with dark countertops filled up most of the space on the right, and on the left was a long living area. The master bedroom seemed to be on the other side of a small breakfast nook, and it looked to be only a one bedroom house. A fine leather sectional in front of a big flat screen television brought a smile to her face. Fancy.

  It made her want to pick apart what made Bruiser…Bruiser. The furnishings in his tidy home said he liked possessions of a finer quality, but his mud-splashed old pickup truck hinted at just the opposite. For some reason, he was loyal to that thing. And he’d become instantly loyal to her, as well, and had said as much. That was just the way he was, but only with certain things. Things he cherished.

  And for some reason, comparing herself to his old beat-up pickup truck made her happy. She wasn’t perfect, but he cared for her despite her flaws and hang-ups. He’d come into this forced relationship, mad as a hornet if throwing his hard hat and cursing loud enough to scare birds from the trees yesterday was anything to go by, but never once had he blamed her for the situation. He hadn’t been resentful that she was changing his life, or cruel when he could’ve been. Bruiser seemed to look at this marriage like a team, and she was an equal part of it.

  Diem made her way through the kitchen to his bedroom and ran her finger down the smooth cherrywood dresser that housed the only picture frame that she’d seen in the place. It was a black and white photograph of a family. A proud looking, flaxen-haired woman stood over a brood of five boys, all with platinum blond hair but one. The dark-haired boy was the one who drew her attention. She cradled the photo in her palms and studied it closely. The other boys were smiling with big, gap-toothed grins. One had his arm slung casually over the dark-haired boy’s slim shoulders, but he wasn’t smiling at all. He was staring sadly at the camera, mouth turned down like he’d never smiled a day in his life.

  She’d recognize those intense, dark eyes anywhere, no matter what age the photo depicted. Bruiser. He was adorable as a kid, but also obviously unhappy in the moment this picture was taken.

  Frowning, she set the picture down just where she’d found it. Why would he keep this? She couldn’t hold the gaze of the dark-haired child in the image. It made her too sad, but Bruiser thought highly enough about this picture from his youth that he kept it in his bedroom.

  Danielle had said no one ended up here without a past that pushed them to find a group of friends like the Ashe Crew. Perhaps that was true of Bruiser, too.

  A weight settled across her shoulders like a yolk attached to sloshing water buckets. She knew very little about Bruiser—how he had turned into the
settled, easy-going, happy, take-charge kind of man he was now. She’d missed a huge part of his life and was only coming in when he’d weathered the experiences that turned him into the person he was today. A feeling of loss clogged her throat, and she turned away from the picture, then leaned back on the dresser, arms locked.

  They’d done this backward. A relationship was supposed to come before marriage, and now she was having to play catch-up. They both were.

  A soft knock sounded at the door, and she straightened her blouse and padded into the living room. Brooke stood there, full-moon belly leading the way as she offered Diem an easygoing smile. Her blue eyes twinkled as she asked, “May I come in?”

  “Of course! Although, that sounds a little weird inviting you into a house that isn’t even mine.”

  Brooke laughed and waddled over to the couch, then sank into the leather cushion. “The lines of ownership blur in this community.”

  “I’ve noticed. Kellen walked right on into 1010 this morning to find Bruiser.”

  “Oh dear God, were y’all doing anything?”

  “No.” Diem’s cheeks heated to blazing. “But I didn’t have any clothes on… Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this. I was covered up, but still felt…”

  “Vulnerable?”

  “Yeah, that’s the word.”

  “Have you not Changed in front of other shifters before?”

  Diem shook her head as her stomach bottomed out. “My shift isn’t pretty, and we don’t Change openly.”

  “Want to know a secret?”

  Diem nodded and sank onto the couch beside Brooke.

  “My Change isn’t pretty either, and it’s still something I struggle with. Or I did when I was shifting before I got pregnant. It was painful, and the boys always look so powerful when they Change into bears. It will probably always be something I’m insecure with. Even Everly Changes beautifully, and she didn’t even know she had a bear in her for months after she was Turned.”

  “Will I be required to Change with everyone else here?”

  “No, I don’t imagine it would be required,” Brooke said with a slight frown drawing down her delicate sand-colored brows. “I think that someday you might want to, though. There is something therapeutic about putting yourself out there around these men. They are so accepting it’s hard not to test them.”

  “I’ve noticed that. It’s been a strange adjustment, going from my father’s overbearing rule to Asheland, where it seems no one is offended.”

  Brooke snorted. “Give that one time. The boys bicker like old married couples. They just never really mean what they say and get over their arguments quickly. How are you settling into ten-ten?”

  Diem stretched her legs out and worried her finger over a wrinkle in her jeans. “It will sound strange, but ten-ten feels like more of a home than my room did at my father’s house. Which doesn’t make a lick of sense because I lived there most of my life.”

  Brooke patted her leg and nodded. “I understand that exactly. When I first came here, ten-ten was my sanctuary after I’d been through something awful. I found myself again in that old trailer. Have you met Nards?”

  “Yes,” Diem said with a giggle. “I fed him a piece of granola bar this morning. I don’t even know if that is what mice eat, but he took it politely and scurried back toward the bedroom.”

  “Oh, gosh, you are much braver than I was. I screamed when I first saw him and just about knocked heads with Tagan.”

  “How did you and Tagan meet?” Diem asked, unable to control her curious words.

  “In ten-ten.”

  Diem nodded. Of course they had. It was becoming clear as creak water that old trailer held magic. “And did it happen fast for you two?”

  Brooke lifted her chin and cast her a knowing look. “Very fast. Our bond happened so quickly it scared me. That seems to be the way of it with these Ashe boys, though, Diem. The same happened to Danielle and Everly and Skyler. If it’s a good pairing, you’ll know almost instantly.”

  Diem didn’t know why, but those words settled something that had been churning in the pit of her stomach since waking up beside Bruiser this morning. So, she wasn’t imagining the intensity of her feelings. This wasn’t just some pathetic attempt for her to connect with another soul out in the universe after being sheltered for so long. Her deep affection for him wasn’t because he’d been the first man to touch her—to kiss her.

  Her bone-deep adoration and respect for Bruiser was real.

  She let off a relieved smile.

  Brooke squeezed her knee, then arched her delicate eyebrows. “You bored yet?”

  “About that. I don’t really know what to do with myself. I know Skyler and Everly work with the rest of the Crew on the landing, and that Danielle works for my father doing environmental research, but I don’t really understand where I’ll fit in. I’ve always handled high volume business decisions for my father and ran the books for him as well, and now it feels like I’ve quit work cold-turkey. How do you do the domestic goddess thing?”

  Brooke huffed a laugh and covered her mouth with the back of her hand. She snorted, then squeezed her eyes closed as if she was really trying to control her laughter. When she was in control of her mental facilities again, Brooke explained. “I’m no domestic goddess. There is a reason the boys never ask me to help when they do community cooking by the bonfire. I burn the devil out of everything. Honestly, Tagan still handles most of the domestic stuff—dishes and cooking. I help with laundry and tidying up the trailer, but that’s about it. I work, just not up on the landing with the rest of the crew.”

  “You do? In town?”

  “No, I’m a painter. In fact, I’m painting a picture of this place right now for you and Bruiser. When it’s done, I want to give it to you for a wedding present. Though I may beg to borrow it in a few months for a show I’m doing up in Boulder.”

  “Oh, my gosh, that is so nice of you! I’m amazed by creatives. I can’t draw a stick figure or even pick a good color of paint for decorating a wall, so the way your minds work just intrigues me.”

  “Well, what do you like to do?”

  “I like numbers. They make sense to me.”

  “Hmm,” Brooke said, the smile falling from her face. “And you don’t think your dad would want you to work for him anymore?”

  “Oh, no. My life, as far as he is concerned, is at its end, as well as my usefulness.”

  “What?” Brooke straightened her spine, and her eyes went wide.

  “I’m supposed to breed with Bruiser and bear his young. My pregnancy won’t be like yours, though.”

  Brooke’s hands went over the swell of her belly. “In what way?”

  “I would have to force myself not to Change, and I would grow so weak that having my baby would be the end of my life.”

  Brooke gasped and shook her head, blue eyes darkening with horror. “But that’s awful. Why would your father want that?”

  “Because he doesn’t want to be alone. He lives forever. My half-brother’s and I do not. He needs us to carry on the line so that he won’t be the only one left. Growing old and gray is for the males of my species. Females, if they are proper dragons, don’t live past their breeding years.”

  “You’re a dragon?” Brooke asked so low Diem almost couldn’t hear her.

  “Yes. I told everyone that yesterday when Denison asked.”

  “Uh, we thought you were joking. So your dad is a…”—Brooke swallowed hard—“dragon?”

  “The biggest baddest dragon left. I can’t believe Tagan didn’t tell everyone here. You seem to share everything amongst yourselves.”

  “Nope. He and Bruiser have kept quiet about your lineage.” Brooke looked nonplussed about that little revelation.

  “Well, if it makes you feel better, my father probably asked Tagan not to say anything, and he can be very intimidating.”

  “Well, yeah, ’cause he’s a fuckin’ dragon. I’m afraid of him now, and I’ve never seen the ma
n in person. Which, by the way, sucks, because I totally missed your wedding ceremony to Bruiser yesterday. Sorry about that. If I would’ve had any warning, I would’ve been up at the landing as fast as my car could make it.”

  “I had about as much warning as you did. No one told me yesterday was my wedding day until I got there.”

  “Okay, so let me get this straight. Your dad married you off without your permission, and all because he wants a baby from you that he knows will kill you?”

  “Yep.”

  “Your family sucks.”

  Diem snorted and nodded. “Well put.”

  “So, are you going to have a baby then?” Brooke asked in a careful tone.

  “No. Bruiser shut that notion down as soon as he found out how sick it would make me. He won’t even sleep with me until we have condoms and birth control.”

  “Oh, thank God,” Brooke said on a breath.

  “My father is going to be pissed.”

  “Well, your father is going to piss off the entire Ashe Crew, as well as the Boarlanders and Gray Backs if he pushes the issue. He messed up bad by giving you to us. We’re not down with sentencing our own to die.”

  Diem’s eyes burned with tears, and she dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” Brooke asked, squeezing her shoulder.

  How did she explain the tidal wave of gratefulness washing over her? “It’s just really nice to have friends who care about my well-being. Who are defensive of me, instead of telling me I’ll be a failure if I don’t do this.”

  “Oh, honey,” Brooke crooned, wiping Diem’s tears from her cheeks. “You’ve been through a lot, I can tell, but you’re safe here. You’ll never have pressure from anyone in this place. I know it might not seem like much, living in a shitty little trailer park in the middle of nowhere, but we won’t let anything bad happen to you, okay?”

  Nodding, Diem swallowed down the lump in her throat and whispered, “Okay.”

  “Good. Now go grab your purse. We’re going to town to do some shopping and eat a nice lunch. I have a craving for gourmet pizza, and I don’t want to eat alone.”