For the Soul of an Outlaw Read online

  “Uuuuuh.”

  “Tenlee is Genie,” Kurt said before he could change his mind.

  Gunner looked between him and Tenlee and back again with the most confused look he’d ever seen on his boy’s face. “What do you mean?”

  “Um, I’m like you,” Tenlee said quick. “I mean, I’m not like you, but I can be an animal and a person.”

  “You’re a shifter?”

  “Kind of. Mostly, I’m just a squirrel.”

  “Huh,” Gunner said softly, studying her. “I was a little scared of Genie, but I don’t feel scared of you. Wanna help me with the chickens? I like to catch them and set them free when they peck me three times.”

  Tenlee giggled. “Okay. I never caught a chicken before.”

  “It’s easy-peasy. You just look for the slow ones and get ’em in a corner and tackle ’em, but don’t let Mr. Trig see you do it because he will yell at you for scaring the eggs outta his prize chickens…” Gunner’s voice trailed off as he ran for the coop.

  Tenlee hesitated, her hand on the fence as she watched Gunner leave. “This is okay…right?”

  Kurt smiled and nodded, then he lost his damn mind and climbed up on the fence, leaned over it, pulled her in by the back of her neck, and kissed her quick.

  She looked drunk as a skunk by the time he pulled away, and she had that real smile on her face again. God, he loved giving those to her.

  “Feels like I’ve known you,” he admitted. “Feels like you’ve been around for a while, and it makes me act…different.”

  “I like that you’re different.”

  “Tenlee!” Gunner called. He was in the coop, holding up a brown and white chicken.

  “I like you,” Kurt said as she walked off.

  “Me?” she asked, turning around.

  “Yeah, you.”

  Her smile lifted and then fell. And she looked truly sad when she murmured, “That’ll change when the new wears off and you get it in your head I’m not enough and try to fix me. That’s what always happens. I’m gonna go get pecked now.”

  “What if I don’t try to change you?”

  She canted her head and searched his eyes. “Then you would be the first.” She ducked her gaze and left him there wondering what the hell this girl had gone through.

  And he didn’t know what this said about him, but that sad look on her face made him pretty damn determined to be that first. Something deep inside of him said that even if she was built a little different, she was fine just the way she was.

  Chapter Ten

  Okay, Tenlee was running out of reasons not to expose her human side to the Two Claws Clan. She could hear Colton’s laughter clear as day, which meant the trail ride was back to the cabins, and here she was bein’ a little chicken shit and hiding in the barn with Gunner.

  In her defense though, he was really cute. He looked like a miniature version of Kurt. She had no guess what Kurt’s mate had looked like, but she was certain Kurt’s genetics had marked his son up good. She liked that.

  He looked up with those big brown puppy-dog eyes and pocketed a marble. “Now, it’s your turn to shoot. Only I can hear the others comin’ home, and Dad said we gotta greet the payers.”

  “I think Ava calls them clients, not payers.”

  Gunner shrugged like same difference, and behind him, sitting on a bale of hay, Kurt chuckled. He’d been watching her and Gunner play for the last two hours. He hadn’t gotten much work done, but she didn’t give a single squirrel shit because he’d grunted twice in pain while brushing out the horses, and he smelled like blood again. She would rather him stay right here resting so she could watch over him and Gunner. Her boys.

  Colton was now singing the guitar part to a heavy metal song, and she could make out the squish, squish of the horses’ hooves in the mud.

  “Too close,” she murmured, looking sadly at Kurt.

  “You ain’t ready for them to find out?”

  Ashamed, she shook her head. “This is the longest I been in this skin. My body hurts.”

  “What’s it feel like?” Gunner asked. “Like growing pains? That’s what my dad calls it when I eat a lot of food and then my legs hurt at night and I grow a foot.”

  “An inch,” Kurt corrected him. “If you grew a foot overnight, you’d be wailing at that ache.”

  “No, it feels like my bones are getting all scratched up, my muscles are sore, and I have a headache that just keeps getting worse. It’ll go away if I’m a squirrel.”

  Kurt angled his head and dragged his gaze down her body and back to her face. “Gunner, go greet the Clan.”

  The little boy dropped a handful of marbles onto the dirt floor and bolted for the barn door.

  “And watch out for crows,” Kurt called after him. “You even see one black feather, you call out!”

  “I ain’t afraid of no crows!” his boy yelled over his shoulder just as he disappeared out the door.

  Kurt huffed a breath and shook his head. “Me either.”

  “You should be afraid of them. They’re ruthless.”

  Kurt pulled a long piece of hay from his mouth and tossed it on the ground, then jerked his chin in a come-here motion.

  Tenlee made sure to keep the pain off her face as she stood and straddled his lap.

  “Holy hell, woman,” Kurt murmured, gripping her hips hard and dragging her tight against his pelvis. “I thought you were gonna sit beside me, not on me.”

  “Oh, oops,” she whispered, her cheeks heating with mortification. But when she moved to scramble off him, Kurt stilled her with an even tighter grip.

  “Stop squirming, or you’re gonna make this boner worse. I like this. I like that you do what you want. It’s refreshing.”

  “I don’t know how to be a person,” she admitted, her gaze on the top, undone button of his flannel shirt.

  “Hey,” he murmured, hooking a finger under her chin until she met his gaze. “You’re doin’ just fine.”

  “I am?”

  “Boner, Tenlee. I know you can feel it. It’s hard as a fuckin’ rock. You ain’t wearin’ a bra. I’ve been staring at your tits all day.”

  “Screw bras, they itch.”

  His smile made her heart stutter in her chest, and feeling nice and bold, she slipped her arms around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder. He pulled her in tight. It was a hug. A real hug. One where he didn’t pull away, and one where she didn’t want to pull away either. One where she was all wrapped up in his arms and felt that unfamiliar sensation again…safety.

  “Will you try to hold on a little longer so the others can see you? Change when you need to, and I’ll explain for you if you want, but they should know.”

  “Why?”

  “Because those crows burned a death oath the other day, and the bears should know why.”

  “You should be afraid of the crows,” she murmured, nuzzling her soft cheek against the scruff of his face. It was prickly. She liked it. She didn’t much care for the scratch of bras against her tits, but if Kurt’s face was nestled between them, well, she’d be just fine with that. “I want to mate,” she piped up.

  Kurt’s body tensed.

  “And also,” she continued, “you should really be afraid of crows. They are relentless hunters and they have numbers. There are tons of crows. Lots of crows, but only one of me and a few of you.”

  “I ain’t scared of much anymore. Now, what was that about you wanting to mate?”

  “I want you to stick your dick in my cookie hole and—”

  “Okay, okay, okay!” he said in quick succession. “You aren’t helping the boner, and the Clan is about to come in here in any sexond. Sexond. Second! Fuck. Tenlee…” Kurt pushed her gently off his lap and held her out at arm’s length.

  The slap of the rejection was instant. It hurt more than just about anything. He didn’t want her to touch him or hug him. Tenlee flinched away from his grasp. “I don’t like when people look at me,” she uttered, panicked.

  “She
’s right in here!” Gunner said, his little squeaky voice echoing through the barn. He was pulling Trigger by the hand, and the others were filing into the barn behind him, one after the other. Colt, Ava, Karis, and a couple of strangers she’d seen them leave with—the clients. The Payers.

  The second the Alpha of Two Claws, Trig, saw her, he locked his legs against any forward motion. Colt ran into the back of him so hard they both stumbled forward.

  “The fuck, man!” Colt groused. “Any idjut knows you don’t stop in front of a—” Colt spotted her. “Hey! I know you!”

  “Y-you do?” Tenlee stammered. God, her body hurt so bad she was having trouble staying upright. Kurt didn’t want her to touch him, Trig and Colt were looking at her like she’d grown two frog legs out of her ears, and the others were fanning out to stare at her, too. And everything was awful. Except Gunner, who was smiling and lisping through his missing front teeth, “This is Tenlee. Like the number Ten and then lee, but mostly you can call her Genie because she ain’t a lady, she’s a squirrel. And she’s awful at marbles, but real nice.”

  Colt and Trig’s matching slow blinks would’ve been comical if her body didn’t feel like it wanted to croak and die right here on the barn floor. The squirrel was coming.

  “I’m Tenlee. Genie.” She cleared her throat and shook her head, trying to rattle her racing thoughts into some sort of order. “Tenlee…Genie.”

  “Are you broke?” Trig asked.

  One of the strangers, a woman, raised her hand. “What’s the boy mean by you aren’t a lady, you’re a squirrel?”

  “Hehehaha, it’s a metaphor, right Gunner?” Colt asked, giving Gunner a flash of warning in his gold eyes.

  “What’s a megapore?” the boy asked.

  “Uh, Gunner, go on into the apartment,” Kurt murmured.

  “What about my marbles?”

  “I’ll clean them up,” Kurt promised. “Hurry scurry, little cat.”

  Gunner kicked at a pebble with the toe of his boot and then meandered to the red door of the barn apartment. He turned and gave one pouty look with his bottom lip all poked out and then disappeared inside. The hole was growing in her chest and made her feel even more upset. Tenlee leaned over to Kurt to voice her concern. “I miss him already.”

  Kurt parted his lips to say something but seemed to change his mind. He addressed Trig and Colt instead. “I should’ve maybe waited until later to spring this on you.”

  “I’m not a this!” Tenlee exclaimed. “I’m just me. Don’t want me to touch you, fine, I won’t ever touch you again. Stop looking at me! I’m not a this,” she repeated. “Body hurts. I don’t like being here.”

  “Are those my clothes?” Ava asked, her blue eyes wide as she stared at Tenlee.

  Kurt brushed her arm with the tip of his finger, but she jerked away and ran. That’s what she did, right? Squirrels were runners. Probably. Fuck if she knew, she was the only one like her, so she could be anything she wanted, and right now, she wanted to be a runner.

  Tenlee bolted past the Clan, ignoring their chorus of questions, and the second she was around the corner of the house, she Changed, leaving Ava’s clothes in a pile behind her.

  Everything was overwhelming. She should leave now, right? Kurt pushed her away. He pushed her away. Everyone pushed her away. She’d let herself have fun today with him and Gunner. She’d tried to be brave and keep her ugly skin for longer just so she could talk to her boys. No, not hers. The boys. Nothing was hers. She was alone and always would be because that was the curse of being an Origin.

  Everything was too bright and too loud and her skin still tingled and hurt from the Change. Her fur was all roughed up the wrong way, and she missed when Kurt smiled at her and Gunner laughed and she was a part of something, an important moment that came so easily for other people. People didn’t even realize they took those things for granted. Family, companionship…

  Tenlee.

  Ten like the number.

  Ten-ten, the wishing squirrel.

  That’s all she would ever be.

  Creatures like her didn’t belong anywhere. They got stuck in the in-between. She didn’t fit with wild squirrels, and she didn’t fit with people, so she was always going to be a this, watching happy people from the sidelines. She hoped that would be enough to feed her lonely soul.

  And where was that damn crow now, huh? Where was Ramsey when she was hurt and agitated and overwhelmed enough to be ready to go back to the Red Dead Mayhem clubhouse and be their pet again. Be Ramsey’s trophy.

  All that crow had wanted was to be mated to an Origin, and all she’d wanted was for someone to see her as more.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kurt chewed the end of his thumbnail and pushed one foot against the edge of the mattress rhythmically to move the rocking chair he sat in. Gunner was passed out cold after a big day, cuddled with his favorite little brown blanket with the monkey on it. He’d stopped sucking his thumb four years ago, but sometimes, like now, his little lips moved in the same motion.

  Kurt had a million questions he couldn’t answer without Tenlee here to explain. Colt and Trig had only piled another heap of questions on top of his, but Kurt had searched everywhere and hadn’t been able to find Tenlee. He was a very good hunter, but she was ghost when she wanted to be.

  He texted Trina. Do you know how to get ahold of the crows? Specifically, Ramsey?

  The mountain lion shifter was a night owl, always had been, so her response came just a minute later. She was mad. He could tell because all she texted back was a telephone number.

  Inhaling deeply, Kurt stood and made his way out the front door of the apartment, sat on the bale of hay against the nearest stall, and connected the call.

  Three rings, and the Alpha of Red Dead Mayhem picked up. “I was waiting for your call.”

  Kurt frowned at Harley, who had shoved his head as far out of his stall as possible and was wiggling his lips at Kurt like he couldn’t wait to taste him. Asshole.

  “What do you mean?” he asked Ramsey. “How did you know I would call?”

  “Because it’s Tenlee, and she has this ability to get people addicted to her. And I’ve been thinking…why would she latch onto Two Claws Ranch so hard? Not for Colt. He’s paired up with Karis. Not for Trig. He’s paired up with Ava. That leaves you. So…” he drawled out. “You will be the one I kill first.”

  God, crows were psychotic.

  “You can try. Won’t get you Tenlee, though. All that’ll do is get you and your Clan killed.”

  Ramsey’s single, bellowing laugh lacked humor. “By who? You?”

  “Me and some grizzlies and polar bears I know. Next time you come onto Two Claws territory scoping things out, I’ll pull that trigger and blow your fuckin’ brains all over these woods. Test me, bird.”

  Ramsey’s voice went dark. “You could’ve left. You and your boy could’ve lived, but you came back to die for people who don’t give a shit about you. Look what you’ve done, Kurt. Look at the hole you’ve dug for yourself. It’s in the shape of a grave. You get that, right? You killed your own Alpha to protect the bears. You committed the biggest betrayal any shifter could, and look where it got you? How are you healing up, traitor?”

  Just the mention of that fight with Chase made all his deep gashes throb.

  “Chase was wrong,” he gritted out. “He was coming after an innocent female, a human who didn’t have protection. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be.”

  “Your Alpha made a bad decision. You’re tellin’ me Hairpin Trigger never made a bad decision?”

  “Oh, so you’re pure? You can sit on your Red Dead throne and judge what happens around you?”

  “Ha! I never said I was perfect. My throne was built on blood and bone. There isn’t a number high enough for my sins, but look at my Clan, still backing my plays because they are loyal. You wouldn’t know anything about that, being a mountain lion and all. The whole lot of you turn on each other with any shift in the wind. You thi
nk you’ll keep Tenlee from me, but you won’t. I’ll show you just how deep my loyalty runs. She’s queen, Kurt. Queen of my Clan, and it’s a destiny she can’t escape. She was born for me.”

  Kurt wanted to kill him. He wanted to reach through the phone for talking about Tenlee this way. For talking about her like she was an object made to sit there and look pretty for a monster to stare at. Verbal war wouldn’t get him any answers though, so he gritted his teeth and counted to three, and then asked, “What is she?”

  “You haven’t figured it out yet?”

  “I know she is mostly animal. I know she’s a shifter.”

  “No, Kurt. She isn’t just a shifter. She’s an Origin.”

  “An Origin,” he murmured, shaking his head. “Never heard of one.”

  “Where do you think we shifters come from? Do you think two humans had a genetic mutation and created an animal child? A hybrid? No. We’ve lost touch with our history. We don’t come from humans. We are animals first. There is an Origin for each species of shifter, one born to two animals. At first, they are just that—animals. They’re feral, untamable…free. But something in them awakens when they hit adulthood, and they Change. And even though they stay mostly animal, their offspring are shifters through and through. She is the start of a race of shifters. The beginning. Do you know how rare she is? Tenlee is the needle in the haystack. All of our offspring will be squirrels. She will be in our history books, the mother of a race.”

  “And you think you’ll be the father?”

  Ramsey huffed a humorless breath. “I’m not explaining why she’s mine. I’m only telling you of her importance, and why every last one of my people would kill to get her back. Bring her to me, Kurt, or the death oath on your friends stands.”

  The line went dead, and Kurt gripped the phone in his hand almost to the point of crushing it.

  Loyalty? Ramsey questioned his loyalty? What was he doing here? He’d killed his Alpha for the bears. He was here because a death oath had been burned against the bears. He’d risked everything to be here…for the bears. And now Tenlee was an important part of this. She was someone who soothed the fire in his soul, and he wasn’t giving that up just because some soulless crow shifter didn’t understand Kurt’s brand of loyalty.