Lowlander Silverback (Gorilla Shifter Royalty 1) Read online

  Layla lifted his chin, and her gaze dipped to his lips. Canting her head, she whispered, “You always smile for the shifters, but you don’t do it around me.”

  Inhaling deeply, he gripped her hand, plucked the rag from her palm, and pressed her touch against his cheek because, damn it all, it felt so fucking good to be this close to someone who was so real. “I couldn’t, Layla. And I can’t again after I leave tonight. Any attention I give you puts you in danger, and if anything ever happened to you, I couldn’t live with myself.”

  “You can protect a harem of female gorillas, but you can’t protect me?”

  A deep ache sliced through his middle as he shook his head in weak admission. There were too many of his people, and they didn’t care about human casualties. Not when it came to the continuation of their shifter species. They would see Layla as a threat to their precious breeding program and eliminate her.

  A wave of devastation darkened her eyes for a moment before she replaced it with an empty smile. He hated that one. She gave it to assholes who wouldn’t stop hitting on her at the bar. She gave it to Barney at the end of the night when he was slurring drunk and pestering her. Kong didn’t want her to have vacant smiles for him. He wanted the genuine one back.

  Before he could change his mind, he leaned forward and kissed her. Too hard, too hard. Be gentle with her. She deserves gentle. Kong slid his hand up her neck and gripped it softly as he angled his head and moved his lips against hers. She froze under his touch, but then softened as she leaned forward and stood. Kong gripped her waist as she straddled his hips and settled right over his erection. Her arms tightened around his neck, and a soft, happy-sounding moan whispered up her throat. Damn, this woman…she was everything. Filling his head, pushing out thoughts of danger. She didn’t grind her hips against him or push the kiss to be more than it was. She just seemed to want to be close to him, up against his skin. His inner gorilla was alert and ready, senses perked but quiet, enjoying the moment and ready to kill anyone or anything who interrupted it. Kong slipped his tongue past her lips and tasted her. Damn, she was perfect. Her body was calling to his, drawing out his needs. Be gentle.

  He plucked at her lips, then froze when she disconnected and curled up against his chest, arms tucked in and cheek against his neck. He sat there, arms suspended in the air. What was happening to him? He’d felt protective before, but she was hugging him so strangely, as though she trusted him. As if he wasn’t terrifying.

  And then she whispered, “I feel safe when I’m with you.”

  Fuck. She wasn’t safe at all, and this had been a really bad idea. What harm could a cup of tea cause? The worst kind since his inner monster was now laying claim to his mate. No, no, no, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Silverbacks didn’t do a single mate. They did family groups.

  He was panting now. Don’t hug her. Wrap your arms around her warm body, and you’re done for. “I have to go.”

  Layla eased back, a frown marring her beautiful face. Big blue eyes, questioning, petal pink lips, rosy cheeks that were deepening with color by the moment. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No,” he gritted out, “I did.” He gripped her shoulders and settled her on her feet, then strode for the door. This was it. This was the goodbye that was going to save her life and end his simultaneously. He’d been careless. Gotten too close and was losing control. Losing his head. He couldn’t protect her and make the right decisions if he felt numb like this around her.

  She was dangerous to them both.

  He ran his hands roughly through his hair and turned at the door, feeling like every step away from her cut a slice into his guts, exposing his insides to air. “Layla, I’m sorry.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest like a shield, and he imagined her doing the same when her parents had left. When Mac went into hospice care. When everyone in her life had left her, and now he was just another letdown.

  He ripped his gaze away from her broken eyes and forced himself out the front door. He closed it and pressed his shoulders against the cold wood until he could see straight because his gorilla was banging on his insides. Go back to her, he roared from his middle. She’s ours.

  But she wasn’t.

  Layla deserved a normal relationship that didn’t put her in the crosshairs of his murderous people.

  She deserved better than he could give her.

  Chapter Five

  Layla adjusted the heavy satchel that held the library books she’d just checked out and switched the bag of breakfast to her other hand to give her numbing fingers a rest. She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten about her car. Her poor Civic was still sitting all alone in the overgrown parking lot of the fight barn. She was going to have to mooch a ride from Jake after work tonight to go pick it up, but until then, she was hoofing it. Good thing Saratoga was a small town, and a double good thing she had a badass pair of sneakers. She’d already walked three miles with nary a blister.

  The bacon was definitely going to be cold, but Mac’s favorite nurse, Sherri, would let Layla heat it up. She was always nice to Layla when she visited. The sun peeked out from behind the heavy, dark cloud cover, making her squint against the blinding light. She pulled her sunglasses from her hair and slipped them over her nose, then checked her watch and picked up the pace. If she timed it right, she’d get there an hour before it was time for Mac’s pain killers, and he would be completely lucid for her visit.

  The rumbling sound of engines filled the quiet morning, and she turned on the cracked asphalt to see a trio of muscle cars coming her way. The first was a red Chevelle, the second a deep green Mustang with black racing stripes, and the third was definitely Kong’s classic black Camaro.

  Ripping her gaze away from the parade of sexy cars roaring down the street, she took a quick left and speed-walked away from the noise. This would lengthen her walk to Tender Care, but it was worth it if she could avoid the ache in her chest watching Kong drive by her without a single glance her way.

  Two of the cars loudly drove right by the alley, but the third sounded as though it had pulled off somewhere. Maybe at the gas station she’d just passed. No matter. She was impervious to him. Kissing her and then bolting—the brute. She got it—he was marked by his people and their barbaric traditions, but these were modern times. He was a big ass silverback gorilla as well as a grown man, and she couldn’t believe he couldn’t make up his own mind on who he wanted to hug. And kiss. And dammit, boink, because she wanted Kong bad. She always had, but it was even worse after she felt how tender he could be when he kissed her. And that fight! All sweaty and sexy and bloody like a big old testosterone-filled, sexed-up demigod come to earth to wreak havoc on her ovaries. A man who could fight like a titan and kiss her like that was dangerous to her heart. Especially since he obviously wasn’t going to stick around. She’d had enough of people leaving.

  An engine revved, echoing loudly off the brick walls surrounding the alley. Layla jumped as Kong’s dark-tint car bounced slowly through the mud puddles toward her.

  His window rolled down, and there was the man himself in a tight gray V-neck shirt with reflective aviators hiding those sexy eyes of his. “Get in. I’ll give you a ride.”

  “I thought you weren’t supposed to talk to me.”

  A muscle jumped as he clenched his jaw and looked in the rearview mirror. “It’s now or never, woman. My detail will be circling back any minute.”

  Layla squeaked and high-kneed it around to the passenger side. When she shut the door behind her, Kong eased through the rest of the narrow alley and asked her, “Where to?”

  “Tender Care. It’s off Eckle.”

  He tossed her satchel a glance and asked, “What’s that?”

  Biting her lip to stifle the butterflies flapping around in her middle, Layla pulled out a thick book. “It’s a romance set on a pirate ship between a captain and a woman his crew kidnapped. Mac likes stories with adventure, but with romance too. They remind him of his wife. She used to read t
hese kinds of books all the time.”

  Kong took it from her hand and studied the cover with a faint and curious smile before he handed it back to her and turned left. “You’re up early.”

  “I’m a morning person. I didn’t used to be, but Mac always made mornings before school fun, and I kind of like starting my day early. Lots to do before my shift at the bar tonight.”

  “You’re working tonight?”

  “I have a feeling you know my schedule.”

  Kong smiled again, just a ghost of one, there and gone. He didn’t respond, though, which was answer enough. He’d been watching her as she’d been watching him.

  “Sooo, ditching the detail to rub elbows with the human riffraff, are we? You’re so bad.”

  Kong chuckled and surprised her to her bones when he reached over and rested his oversize hand on her thigh. His knuckles were swollen and cut. From the fight last night? She was wearing jeans with holes in them, and he worked a frayed part just above her knee with his finger, brushing her skin and making her stomach turn molten. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for leaving like that last night.”

  “You freaked out.”

  “I didn’t freak out.”

  She gave him a pointed look, and he caved. “I freaked out. Look, I signed this contract. It’s why Rhett and Kirk are here. Their entire job is to follow me around and make sure I don’t break the contract.”

  “What aren’t you allowed to do?” she asked, hugging the crinkling bag of Mac’s breakfast tighter to her stomach.

  “Have sex. Really, I’m not allowed to do anything intimate with a women. They call it tainting the seed.”

  She inhaled deeply. “Wow.”

  “Yeah, pretty crazy.”

  “Why did you sign it?”

  “Didn’t have a choice. My mom knew what my birthmark meant the minute I was born, but she ran away from her family group. She was different. She felt things differently, wanted different things than the family group provided for her.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like love. She wanted a single mate. The group let her go because they thought she was a bad gorilla who would infect the others with her weakness. She didn’t want me to be the Kong. She wanted me to have a choice, so she raised me outside of our people. I went to school with humans as soon as I could control my shifts, and anytime she felt other gorillas got too close, we packed up and moved.”

  “How did they catch you?”

  “The nurse who delivered me had given me up when my mom had taken me from her family group. She told Fiona about my birthmark, and they let my mom think she was hiding me well enough all those years. Fiona tracked me down as soon as I hit breeding age though. I was twenty-three when she sicced a couple of mature silverbacks on me and hurt me until I signed it.”

  “How long did it take?”

  “Layla,” he warned.

  “I want to know it all, Kong.”

  “Three weeks. I was ready to die before I signed my life away like that, but they brought my mom in. They threatened her, and I was too weak by that point to put up enough of a fight to help her. I signed it to save her life.”

  “At the expense of your own,” she murmured, feeling nauseous.

  “At the expense of my own,” he repeated in agreement.

  “What happened to your mom?”

  “Fiona put her back in the family group she ran from. She likes it okay, but she liked her freedom more.” He took a right on Eckle and gave her a quick glance. “I told her about you.”

  “You did? When?”

  “I’ve talked about you a few times over the past year. She gets it. I’m different like her. She wishes I could settle in Saratoga. She says she wishes she would’ve cut the mark off my back when I was a baby. It got too big as I grew older.”

  “Oh, Kong. I thought shifters had it all figured out. The bears get along so well with their crews, and they’re nice and decent and honest people, but it’s not like that for all of you, is it?”

  “No, not all of us. The bears are lucky.”

  “If you refused to take over your family group, what would they do?”

  “Kill me. After they force me to watch them kill you.”

  “Jesus,” she whispered. “So there is no choice then. You have to go.”

  Kong parked in a space at the back of the Tender Care parking lot. His massive shoulders lifted in a sigh, and he gave her a sad smile. “At least I had last night with you, and I got a few minutes this morning. It’s more than I thought I would ever get.”

  “Kong, did you like me before last night?”

  “What?”

  “Don’t think, just blurt out the first answer you think of.”

  “Yes.”

  “How long?”

  “Since the first time you served me a beer at Sammy’s. Three years.”

  “Shit,” she said through her tightening vocal cords. “Me, too. And I feel different about you than I have with other men. Like I know you. And still, I can’t have anything meaningful with you. I hate this.”

  “I do, too,” Kong said, pulling off his sunglasses and folding them onto the V shape in his T-shirt neck. His face was black and blue, but it didn’t make any sense. It was the wrong eye from the cut Harrison had given him in the fight.

  “Kong!” she exclaimed in shock, brushing her fingertip over the discolored skin of his cheek. “What happened?”

  “Ditching my detail last night got me punished.”

  “Oh, my gosh.” She couldn’t even imagine the kind of violence that would cause bruising like this to stay on his face so long. “But you have shifter healing. Why isn’t it getting better?”

  Kong laughed and shook his head. “Woman, you should’ve seen me this morning. I look fucking awesome compared to when I got home.”

  “But I saw you fight last night. You’re a beast in the ring. How could Rhett have done this?”

  “It was Rhett and Kirk, and I let them.”

  “Why?” she yelled. “Why would you let them hurt you like this?”

  “Layla, it’s okay.” He twitched away from her fingertips and slipped his sunglasses back on. “They had to send pictures to Fiona to prove I was punished enough.”

  “How does Fiona know? You were only gone, what? An hour, maybe two?”

  “Because Rhett is a rat prick who calls her anytime I step out of line. It’s his job.” His smile had turned to a grimace now. “Speaking of, I’m supposed to be getting gas before I start work at the mill. They’ll get suspicious if I’m gone for too long. Is your car still at the old barn?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to get a ride out there tonight to pick it up.”

  “Don’t bother. Hand me the keys, and I’ll get it to you.”

  “But what if your guards find out?”

  “Let me worry about them.”

  “Okay,” she said on a breath as she dug around her satchel. She handed him the jingling key ring and pushed on the door handle, but turned back. “In case this is the last time I get to see you, can I…”

  A slow, wicked smile spread across his lips. “Can you what?”

  “Since you already technically broke your contract last night, I was wondering—”

  Kong leaned forward and crashed his lips onto hers, halting her words. A helpless noise wrenched from her lips as she pulled him closer. This man was good and decent. He took care of his family and put others above himself. He’d stayed away from her for three years for her own protection, but now she was in this. Lost in the flood of longing to be in his arms, feeling safe like she had last night. She gave no fucks about that contract he’d been beaten and threatened into signing. And she definitely didn’t care about tainting his seed. Kong was hers. Meant for her, fitting perfectly here up against her.

  She brushed her tongue against his, and a soft rumble rattled up his chest, sending delicious shivers up her spine. This kiss wasn’t the sweet first kiss they’d shared last night. This one was primal and full of need because she
might never see him again. Might never talk to him again. Out there, in the real world, there was a cinder block wall in between them, but here, in the dark tint of his car, they were okay. She could touch him, smell him, love him, and no one would know. No one could hurt them here.

  She ripped off his sunglasses and ran her hands under the thin fabric of his shirt just to feel the hard ridges of his abs again. His hands were getting rougher by the instant as he shoved his fingers up the back of her shirt and unsnapped her bra. She gasped as his warm hand slid up her stomach and cupped her breast hard.

  Kong’s touch gentled immediately, and he dragged his palm out from under her shirt. He stared at his hand with a baffled expression, as if he didn’t know how they’d gotten this far. He exhaled a shaky breath, shook his head hard and murmured, “I think I’d better go.”

  Layla’s blood was on fire and her breathing erratic. “Three strokes, Kong.”

  His blazing green eyes lifted to her. “What?”

  “You could’ve had me in three strokes.” She shoved open the door and fumbled with the shoulder strap of her satchel. “I want to burn that fucking contract, just so you know.” She yanked the bag of Mac’s breakfast out of the seat. “I finally found a man I want, who I feel safe with, and I can’t even kiss him without feeling guilty, and over what? Because I’m tainting you for other women? It’s not fair.” Okay, her voice was a little shrill, and she was rushing her words, but dang it all, after all these years, she was finally with Kong, and it was like hot and cold water being dumped on her head over and over. “And furthermore,” she growled, leaning into the car, “when I think about you with those other woman you are about to start serial fucking, I want to punch everything. You don’t belong with them! They aren’t your destiny, Kong. I am.” She slammed the door and stomped off toward the back entrance of Tender Care without looking back. Oh, she wanted to, but she wouldn’t. She was out of this game.