Tarian Alpha (New Tarian Pride Book 1) Read online

  “What does that mean?”

  Rose shrugged again. “I don’t know. All I know is what I saw. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, and he couldn’t move until he hoisted you up in his arms to take you with us. And today? He was needed to put out all the trouble he stirred up by rescuing me alone, but where do you think he was instead?”

  Hope blooming in her chest, Emerald guessed, “In here? With me?”

  As Rose made her way out the door, her voice echoed behind her. “Everything happens for a reason.”

  Chapter Five

  Ronin leaned back in his creaking chair and spun the sharp point of his knife blade onto the letter from Cassius, cutting a small hole and etching a notch into the old wooden meeting table as he did. He read the scribbled words again. Give me what’s mine…

  Mine. Ha. Cassius didn’t own Emerald. Did he think abducting her father gave him ownership over her? Ronin was going to kill him—

  “—when the time is right!” Terrence yelled, dragging Ronin from the fantasy of locking his teeth on Cassius’s exposed throat. Terrence had been talking for a while. Long-winded, that gnarly shifter was.

  “They have the numbers,” Kannon murmured, “so we have to be careful. I want as few casualties as possible. On both sides.”

  “Fuck any side but ours,” Ronin growled. “Don’t go soft on the Old Tarian Pride, Kannon. They won’t go soft on you. They’ll cut your life off at the knees at the first chance.”

  The dark-haired shifter sighed. “What you did last night—”

  “Was my choice, had little risk, and had the exact outcome I wanted.”

  “You killed one of them during a treaty time.”

  “Would you like me to parade Rose in and show you her face again? I don’t know how you think this is supposed to work, but men beating on women will bring out the devil in me faster than anything else.”

  “Yeah, but we knew him,” Gray growled.

  Ronin slammed his knife blade deep into the table and leaned forward. “Knowing him doesn’t make him a good man.”

  “You can’t just kill everyone who pisses you off—”

  “What about war is confusing to you?”

  Terrence slammed his open palms on the table and stood, glaring at him. Ronin stood slowly, a snarl in his throat. “Stand. The fuck. Down.”

  Other than Ronin and Terrence’s snarls, dead silence filled the meeting room. Three seconds too long is what it took for Terrence to sit down and angle his face to the side. Ronin looked around. “I know you wanted an Alpha you could control on your throne. And you’re taking a big risk backing me. I understand. But I don’t do well on leashes. I’m still Alpha. I will make decisions you don’t like sometimes, and you know what you can do about it? You can fuckin’ deal with it. I’m trying to listen, but if you’re gonna keep pushing this kumbaya shit on me, this war is not going to go the way you want. You split off from them for a reason. Because every one of you saw the way the Pride was going and you grew a moral compass somewhere along the way. Good on you. But don’t turn soft on me as we’re gearing up for war with them. Stay savage. Keep that Tarian fire lit inside of you. Keep the fury until this is done. What have they done to your mothers? Your sisters? Your friends? Don’t forget what side you chose. You’re acting like Rose wasn’t worth the risk, and she was. She is. If one of you were taken, where do you think I would be? I’d be on the same damn rescue mission because I agreed to this—to protecting you. All of you.”

  “There’s rumors you’re making Rose your Second,” Gray murmured.

  “And?” Ronin asked, bristling. He hated this boys-are-better-than-girls crap.

  “And when we bring a mate here for you, you’ll lift her rank above all of us, won’t you? Females at the top and fuck all of us who put you on the throne, right?”

  “I haven’t decided if I’m agreeing to a pairing or not.”

  “You will,” Kannon said, “because you promised you would pick a mate who would give us allies. We need the Fire Pride. Or the Bonebreakers, the Deadlies, the Bloodwars or, fuck, we would take an alliance with the Dunns if it kept us all from annihilating each other. What is the point of all this if both Tarian Prides kill each other off, and no one is left to make any decisions at all, good or bad? You say we’re yours to protect?” Kannon said, clenching his fists in front of him. “Then protect us.”

  Ronin sighed and looked at the door. His escape, the door that led to the hallway. And at the end of that hallway was his bedroom where Emerald was making his covers smell like her. He went there in his mind. Imagined her smiling at him, like she had when she was a little girl and he’d told the cubs to stop bullying her. He imagined how clear her bright green eyes would be if walked into her room right now. He imagined her happy to see him. But then he remembered her swollen face, and the rage that had nearly made him Change last night returned.

  I have to go back. Such sadness had tainted her voice when she’d uttered those words. Pretty Emerald. She would be the gem of the Old Tarian Pride, and Ronin would obsess over whether she was okay there.

  But he’d made promises, and a good man didn’t break those. A good Alpha protected his Pride, and damn it all, Ronin was determined to be a good Alpha and rehabilitate them. There was this instinct inside him that ordered him to do this. Fixing the Tarians was his purpose.

  He locked his arms on the table and sighed. “Bring me files on three females who applied for the match pool. I’ll think about it.”

  “All right. Good,” Terrence said, flashing a smile. “Do you have a preference on hair color?” Or like…bra size?”

  Ronin leveled him with a glare. “No. This isn’t a love match. It’s business. Best allies. That’s what you wanted, right?” He couldn’t help the disgust in his voice as he made his way to the door.

  “Any idea on who will be your Second?” Kannon asked.

  Ronin shrugged. “I want Grim.”

  “The Reaper said no,” Gray murmured.

  “Then start stepping up,” Ronin demanded, walking backward. “This ain’t a popularity contest, boys. We ain’t votin’. Biggest and baddest wins. And if that’s Rose?” He angled his head. “Then she’s gonna take Second away from one of you.”

  Gray pointed at Kannon. “Challenge.”

  “Aw, fuck!” Kannon said. Gray’s lion had a good twenty pounds of muscle on him. Kannon crossed his arms over his chest and gave a cocky grin. “Accepted.”

  Ronin chuckled as he left the meeting room.

  Let the fights begin. And also, let the distraction begin.

  Because he was about to make a very, very questionable decision.

  Chapter Six

  “Put a coat on,” Ronin said, bursting into the room.

  Emerald startled hard from where she sat on the bed. She’d been off in la-la land, thinking about how she was going to handle Cassius when she went back, and hadn’t even heard Ronin coming down the hall. That, and he could apparently be scary-quiet when he wanted to be.

  He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest. He’d put on a black sweater that clung to his broad shoulders and tapered at the waist, and his hair was pushed to one side. Those gosh-darn cheekbones and striking blue eyes. Lord, she bet he got a lot of girls’ attention.

  He dragged his gaze down her body and back up, scratched the corner of his lip with his thumbnail, and smiled slightly. “Is grabbing your tits always your first fear-reaction?”

  With a squeak, Emerald removed her hands from the girls and clasped them in her lap. “No.”

  “Lie. You did it last night, too, when me and Rose found you.”

  “No, I didn’t.” Had she? Emerald frowned.

  “You definitely did.”

  After a heaved sigh, she murmured, “Well, this and a million other reasons are why my milkshake doesn’t bring the boys to the yard.”

  “Your milkshake worked just fine for a pussy named Cassius.” His voice had darkened on the name.

  �
�Yeah, well, that’s not my milkshake. It’s just my bloodline. They’re beefing up the Tarian Pride over there. I’m surprised you aren’t doing the same here. Numbers are power. Dominant cubs are power.”

  “You aren’t dominant, and you’re a Lawson. Dominant cubs aren’t guaranteed.”

  Emerald shrugged her shoulders. “Lucky me, I’m a freak.”

  Ronin chewed the corner of his lip, staring at her thoughtfully for a few seconds before he twitched his head toward the hallway. “I want to show you something.”

  “Ronin, I have to go. My dad—”

  “I’ll take care of that.”

  “You don’t understand. He’s all I have left.” Emerald’s lip trembled, and she hated it. Hated the weakness. She’d been so emotionally raw for the last week, and she was tired.

  Ronin’s eyes softened, and he approached slow, sat on the bed next to her. After a second of hesitation, he rested his hand on her thigh and squeezed. “I know about not having anything left. I won’t let that happen to you.” He pulled out his phone and handed it to her. It was open on a text screen.

  R: First off, fuck your letter, you don’t own Emerald. If I’m to bring her back, I want proof that her dad is alive. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I don’t fucking trust you. Now, asshole.

  C: I would just let you have the tired-looking whore if I wasn’t so possessive. And look at you being protective of her. Makes her more interesting to me. She signed the contract. I want her untouched.

  R: Too late. You already hit her. I can’t wait to have my hands around your fuckin’ throat.

  C: She’s my mate, I’ll do what I want to her face. I’ll be giving her a cum facial tonight, Ronin. It’s our pairing day. And you’ll be sitting up in your little camp thinking about what I’m doing to her. I promise, I won’t be gentle.

  R: Proof, Cassiass.

  C: It’s Cassius.

  R: (middle finger emoji)

  Emerald scrolled to a dim video of her dad. He seemed okay, sitting in a small one-room cabin. A voice off-camera demanded, “Talk.”

  Emerald clutched the phone with shaking hands as she watched Dad sigh. He was sitting in a chair, elbows on his knees, hands clenched in front of him, eyes glowing gold. Dad wasn’t submissive. His lion was a killer, too. He just kept tight control. There was a cut on the side of his head, and streams of dried blood ran down to his unshaven jawline. He looked tired but strong as he leaned back in his chair. He smiled at whoever was behind the camera. “What do you want to talk about pussycat? The claw marks on your face? Looks painful.”

  A long, low hiss sounded, and Dad gave a feral chuckle.

  Beside her, Ronin snorted. “Respect.”

  Suddenly Dad looked at the camera and growled, “Cubby, I’m fine.” His Adam’s apple dipped into his thickly whiskered throat, and he repeated, “I’m fine.”

  Chills rippled up her arms as the camera went dark.

  “See?” Ronin murmured. “He’s fine.”

  “No, you don’t get it. That’s not what he said.”

  Ronin squeezed his hand on her thigh again. “What do you mean?”

  “That’s our code. Cubby is what my mom always called me. ‘I’m fine’ is our code for ‘run and hide.’” Emerald’s heart physically hurt. Dad didn’t want her to come for him. How could he want her to just leave him there? She wouldn’t. Couldn’t.

  Vision blurring, she read Cassius’s message after the video.

  C: I want my bitch back right now.

  R: She’s resting. Noon works better for me.

  C: I want you to be the one to bring her to me. I want to see your face when I take her.

  “He’s playing too nice,” she whispered. “He’s going to try and kill you.”

  Emerald looked up at him, but Ronin didn’t look surprised. “I know.”

  “You can’t be the one to take me back. I know his type. You took his toy, and he’ll never forgive you. He’ll punish you and everyone you care about.”

  “I took his toy and his prisoner, and I killed his Second last night.”

  “That was his Second?” she asked, voice wrenching up an octave.

  Ronin nodded once. “You fell right in the middle of chaos, Em.”

  Okay, this was all bad news, but he’d called her Em. An accidental smile took her lips. She couldn’t help it. She liked the name Em. A nickname from a nice man. A nice, murdery man.

  “I remember the night the council told the Pride they’d killed you,” she said. “It was a few nights after the Reaper had been born. Leon called a meeting, and his hands were covered in blood. He said the culling had begun with you. They would get rid of the lions who didn’t match their plans for the future of the Pride. He talked for a long time, but I didn’t hear his words after that. I sat on this old splintered bench between my mom and dad, staring at Leon’s bloody hands. They were still wet. He talked with his hands a lot, and I couldn’t take my eyes off them. It was the first time I’d ever felt empty. I watched you when I was a cub after you protected me. To me, you were my friend, and when I saw your blood on Leon’s hands…it felt like someone took a piece of my heart and I never got it back.”

  “I watched you, too, you know. Way before I beat that kid up. I remember you always looked down at your shoes. You had these little pink converses. I used to wait for you to look up because your eyes were pretty. That was the game. Seeing if I could get you to look up but not get busted. I would toss pebbles near you or make noises. Try to get your attention without you knowing I was trying to get your attention. Because I liked when you looked up. When you looked around at the world.” Ronin angled his head back and pulled the edge of his beard out of the way. There was a long red scar there. “Leon tried to slit my throat. I fought like hell, and he didn’t get the job done before Damon showed up. Beaston was stitching me up on our way to the Furers. I thought I would surely die before we got where we were going, but he told me he was a Gray Back, and Gray Backs could stitch up anything.” She reached up and drew her finger down the scar, but Ronin grabbed her hand and his eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t you ever let a man hit you again, Em. You hear me? You’re a fuckin’ lioness. A Tarian lioness. I don’t care if you’re submissive. If a man hurts you?” His face twisted with fury. “You hurt them back.”

  Before she could change her mind, Emerald slid her arms around his waist and squeezed. Ronin froze, and every muscle went tense under her embrace. She could’ve been hugging a boulder. She didn’t care, though. What did she have to lose? She had three hours before she returned to Hell. “Thank you for that day on the playground. I always remembered you. Even when I thought you were dead, you were remembered. I used memories of you to remind myself there were good people in the world.”

  Ronin softened and slipped his hands gently around her, pulling her against him like she was fragile. “Oh, Em. You’ve been mistaken. I’m not good. But I will make sure you’re okay.”

  “It won’t be okay if you’re the one to take me back to Cassius. I want to go alone.”

  “Not a chance in he—”

  “This is my choice. I choose to go back.”

  “You choose him?”

  Heart banging against her sternum, she croaked out, “Yes.”

  “Lie. There was no truth in that answer at all. I’m going to ask you that again before today is done, and next time I want the truth.”

  “I thought you died once,” she whispered. “It was awful, and I mourned a boy I barely knew. And now I care more. You’ve showed me kindness twice now. On the playground and last night. And for some reason, it means a lot. I really feel it. I want you to live.”

  “Sweet Kitty,” Ronin said low. “I’m not the boy I once was.” And that wasn’t a lie. His voice was scary-steady when he uttered that promise. “You want to go back, I’ll take you back.” His face changed suddenly, and a snarl ripped out of him, his entire body clenching as he tore his gaze away from hers and stared at the wall across the room. He was hugging
her so tight, her back popped a few times. Felt kinda good, but he murmured “sorry” in a low and gritty voice. “We have three hours until we need to head that way. Let’s take a break.”

  “A break from what?”

  He dragged fiery green-gold eyes with small pupils back to her. Hello, lion. “A break from both of our lives.” When his gaze dipped to her lips, she thought he would kiss her.

  Do it.

  He smelled so good, and his power had enveloped them in a little bubble of safety. All of her chaotic emotions overwhelmed her and made her desperate to get lost in his strength for a second. To not feel like crying, worrying, or mourning for a moment. To not think at all. And Ronin could give that to her with a kiss, consequences be damned.

  Be bold.

  Three hours, and she would disappear again. She would be a ghost, living from one second to the next with no purpose. But here and now, she could be alive. She counted to three as she searched his face and then brushed her fingertips down his beard. He rolled his eyes closed and huffed a breath, then opened his eyes to watch her again.

  Take a chance.

  Because when else would she have this opportunity? Emerald stretched her neck up slightly, but just when she was inches from his lips, he touched the injured side of her face gently and shook his head.

  His eyes swam with some dark emotion she didn’t understand. “You don’t belong to me. Not like this.” And then he dropped his head and clamped his teeth gently on her neck. She froze there under the intimate touch, shocked, turned on…devoted to this moment with him. It was the only bite she would ever really want, and for the rest of her life, she would hold this memory. The one where she wished for a life that wasn’t in her stars.

  Ronin released her skin, released her from his arms, released her completely. Just…let her go. He stood and left the room. “I’ll meet you outside.”

  And for the second time today, the closing of the door felt symbolic, not just physical.