How It Will Be Read online

  “Wh-what? How could you say that? I think he’s a total tool, but you’ve been friends forever.”

  Bron swallowed hard, and darted a glance to her, then back to the ground. “Death would’ve been kinder, but he didn’t deserve to go clean.” He cleared his throat. “I was glad when you said you wanted to come pick up the check, because it’s something you should hear in person.”

  “Okay.” Why did she feel like crying right now? She didn’t even know what was happening yet, only that it was very, very bad.

  Bron gestured to the porch stairs. “Want to sit with me for a while?”

  Ren strode for the stairs and plopped down on the top one. Bron took the bottom one and looked out at the surrounding woods. “Laken’s been banished from the Murder.”

  “For what?”

  “For leading a coup against the King.”

  “Oh my God,” she murmured in horror. She shouldn’t be surprised. She shouldn’t be surprised! Her stupid brother had always been an asshole. She couldn’t stand him on a good day, and would never in her lifetime understand him or the reasons he did the things he did.

  “Why did he do it?” she asked softly.

  “Krome was hurt, and he saw an opportunity.” Bron was quiet for a few moments and then he rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head. “It was more than that. This war had built up for a long time. Years. Laken didn’t like the way things were run, but you know him. He isn’t the one to lead. He was Second to Krome, and I saw the way he looked at the King. I watched him. He would stare at Krome during meetings, during nights out, always sizing him up. It started when Krome was failing at ending the bear shifters’ line. He kept giving the Banes chances and Laken didn’t like it. And he made sure the rest of the Murder didn’t like it either.”

  “Your allegiance shifted,” she whispered.

  Bron nodded. “It was a slow thing, but I chose Krome in the end.”

  “And you chose the bears. Say that part, too. It’s important. You chose Krome and the Bane brothers. And now you want me to tell our world where your new loyalty lies. Laken will hear of it, right? He’ll hear what you are doing?”

  “He’ll hear I’m alive,” Bron gritted out.

  “That doesn’t even make any sense. Why would he give a shit if you’re alive if you betrayed him, Bron?” Ren stood. “He might be a dipshit, but Laken is my brother. Friends don’t betray friends. They don’t choose a side in war against their friends. It’s always been the two of you. You were this stupid package deal! Why do you think I had to distance myself from you when Laken and I fought? You always sided with him. I always knew my idiot brother, for all his faults, was okay because he had you at his back. What the fuck, Bron? And now you’re what? Moving in on his house? Moving in on his—”

  “He killed me, Ren!” Bron yelled. He stood in a blur and black smoke wafted from his skin as he ripped his shirt over his head to expose a spiderwebs of scars marring his olive toned skin. He jammed at finger at her. “You of all people should know what your brother is capable of. You know me too! Do you think I would betray my friend lightly? You think I’m not haunted? I found out about the coup, and do you know what he did to me?” Bron’s eyes were filled with fire and ghosts, and red crept up his neck. “He ordered the rest of our Murder to beat me, and when I was unable to fly, he dragged my human body up there.” He pointed to the sky. “So high, you would look like a grain of sand. And then do you know what he did? Do you know what he did to punish me for fighting the coup?”

  Horror had washed through her at his admissions and she shook her head. “I don’t want to hear. I don’t want to hear,” she gasped as she jogged to her car.

  “Yeah, run away. That’s what you do, right? It’s what you’ve always done. Run when things get hard.”

  “You aren’t dead!” she shrieked, rounding on him. “You said he killed you, but you’re still here!”

  Bron approached her with the slow, stealthy stride of a predator. “Laken dropped me to the earth. There is a crater in Krome’s yard where I made contact, and do you know what I thought the entire time I was falling? My entire body hurt, my bones were broken, even the wind hurt my skin from what he’d ordered to be done to me, and do you know what my loyal, stupid brain thought?”

  She didn’t want to run. He’d pissed her off with that accusation. Out of stubbornness she was staying. “What?”

  Bron lifted his chin higher into the air. “That Laken would swoop down and save me. I thought he wouldn’t really let me hit the ground. I knew he would fix it. That he would let me live. The good parts of me died because of him. Krome’s mate had to work for days to put me back together. I had plenty of time to find the old me, but he isn’t in there anymore.” He pressed his palms to his chest, rising and falling with his ragged breath. “There’s nothing in there anymore. Just anger.”

  God, her heart hurt. It was aching and throbbing inside of her chest. She could see the fury, the helplessness, the despair in his eyes. When a Murder broke apart, it wrecked the Crow Blooded, but Bron was dealing with so much more. Laken had pierced Bron’s heart with his betrayal, and that lance was barbed. She knew Bron. He cared about very few, but those few were his world. That spear would forever remain in his heart, and he would have to live his life bleeding.

  Maybe Laken really had killed him.

  “Where is my brother?” she asked softly.

  “You gonna go save him?” Bron asked.

  “No one could ever save him, Bron. You know that as well as I do. I quit on him a long time ago. But our parents deserve to hear what happened to him.”

  “He and Krome fought. It was a dirty challenge. Four on one. He dropped me right in front of our King and then they tried to assassinate him. I was…” Another big swallow. “I was hurt. I didn’t see, but from the blood on Krome’s hands and the feathers on the ground, your brother doesn’t have his wings anymore.”

  “I hate you.” Ren flinched and gasped in shock at herself. It had tumbled from her lips, and she couldn’t take it back.

  Bron looked as shocked as she felt, but she’d meant it, so she said it again, because God it felt good to finally say something real to a man. “I hate you.” She shoved him in the chest. “I hate you for taking his side all those years. For looking past all the bad. For choosing him over and over every time I got hurt by his stupid decisions! I hate you for never messaging me—”

  “You told me not to—”

  “You never once checked up on me! Do you remember the plan? Do you?” she yelled.

  He nodded slightly.

  “You two were supposed to find a Murder for all of us, and you were supposed to protect me!” She shoved him in the chest again, and he fell back a step. “And you never did. You never did.” Tears streaked down her cheeks. Stupid tears! She never cried. Crying showed weakness and she was a female crow. She was already seen as weak. “Do you know what it’s like to be a trophy, Bron? To be a shiny thing a Murder can brag about but have no real power?” She sobbed and shoved him again. “I never had a shot at settling into a Murder without you and Laken. But at least you had each other. That’s what I’ve said this whole time to take the sting away. At least they have each other! And now you don’t and you’re broken, and he’s broken, and I’m broken, and it was all for nothing.” She dashed her knuckles across her damp cheeks and called on her crow. Right before she let the blue smoke envelop her, and let the crow have her body, she said it again so he could hear the honesty in her voice. “I hate you.”

  A moment of agonizing pain was all it took to shed her human skin. A pop of fire through her veins and she was airborne, leaving the dark blue smoke she’d conjured behind her. She cast a quick glance back as she aimed for the sky. Bron was watching after her. His face was unreadable, but something about it hollowed her gut.

  Ren didn’t know where she was going, only that she’d needed to change. Laken’s wings had been ripped off? “Caw!” She couldn’t imagine the pain of it. Couldn’t
imagine this being taken away from any crow—the sky. It was like treasure to a dragon. Water to a fish. It was everything, this feeling of freedom. It soothed the soul of a Crow Blooded, and without it? Laken would wither.

  But…

  He’d done something awful.

  Krome’s sprawling home appeared below in a clearing. Even from here, she could see the mangled yard. She needed to see it. Needed to accept it.

  Tucking her wings close to her body, she dove for earth. This is what Bron had felt, the wind against him as he fell, but she was able to spread her wings at the last moment and save herself. He’d been rendered helpless.

  She couldn’t imagine the fear. The pain of his body creating this…

  She landed by the Bron-sized crater in the front yard. There was dried blood on the flattened grass, and she wanted to retch. Ren hunkered down until the feathers on her belly touched the soft weeds, and she imagined him lying here, hurt. Laken had done this to punish Bron for staying loyal to his King.

  Another crow landed across the crater from her. Bron? He was bigger than she remembered, and the scars on his human body had showed up in his crow. Patches and lines of feathers were missing, and his wings looked tattered and war-torn.

  Laken had done that.

  Okay.

  Okay.

  Punishment for treason to a Crow Blooded King was death, and Laken was still alive out there somewhere, without his wings. She didn’t know if that fate was worse than death, or a mercy, but she did know one thing—his actions deserved consequences.

  So, okay.

  Bron’s gaze was locked on hers. She still hated him, but she understood him a little better, and that was a start.

  Chapter Four

  She hated him?

  Bron lifted his fist to knock on his bedroom door, but changed his mind. Ren was inside talking on the phone. He could hear her whole conversation.

  She was talking to one of the lowest ranking members of the first Murder she’d ever pledged to. She kept calling him Mikey.

  “…yeah, and I think the Bane Brothers are protecting them, too. Yeah, it’s just two crows left in the Murder right now. Krome. Krome’s the King. That’s what I thought too…”

  Bron should make her a present.

  He did an about-face and padded into the kitchen. Maybe she was hungry. Krome fed Cora when she was grumpy, so maybe if he fed Ren, she would hate him less.

  Hate. He’d never before heard that word aimed at him, and it sat in his gut like acid-soaked concrete.

  Food might help.

  Here were a few things about female Crow Blooded. One, they were rare and prized possessions in a Murder. Two, they weren’t treated awesome sometimes. There was this asshole mentality that they should be seen and not heard. That they should be demure, quiet, and ladylike—three words that had never described Ren. Three, females tended to get stuck in a cycle of being traded from Murder to Murder. The fact that Ren was here without an escort said she was in between Murders, and that had his curiosity up at tree-height. Last he’d heard, she’d been traded to Manning’s Murder up near Seattle. She was a long way from home if she was still pledged to them.

  What did girls eat? Pickles and ice cream? He had neither of those, but he did have avocados, and avocados made the most delicious side-dish in the universe—Guacamole. Yup. Guacamole would make her hate him less.

  Why did he have all this nervous energy? He’d never been nervous around Ren before. She was like a little sister to him.

  Ren didn’t know it, but he’d followed her life. It was innocent, really. Just checking up on a girl he grew up with. He’d asked around about Ren and figured out each Murder she was in and for how long. She didn’t stay with any of them for very long. She had been passed through so many Murders, she probably knew most of the Crow Blooded, and that’s how she’d gotten good at leaking information. She had access and phone numbers, and the knowledge of which ones talked. Rumors seemed to come easy when she knew which crows had loose beaks.

  Part of him was proud of her, that she hadn’t cowered and changed and fit herself into the mold to keep a Murder. Her sass probably got her traded a lot. He gave a private smile. He’d always liked the fire in her. She’d always been able to give him and Laken just as much shit as they’d dished out to her. She’d been this pixie-sized, flat-chested spitfire. A foul-mouthed, baggy T-shirt wearing tomboy Laken had always tried to shake off when they hung out together. They’d called her Barnacle when she was a kid because she never left them alone. Bron hadn’t minded, but Laken really had. Jealousy probably. Ren was born a girl, and special, and Laken hadn’t liked watching people fawn over his sister. He liked the attention more. Ren had been uncomfortable with it.

  He cut up avocados and diced some tomatoes. Squeezing some lemon over the cubed avocado sprinkled with salt and pepper, he mashed it with a fork and then folded in the tomatoes. An entire bag of tortilla chips dumped into his favorite popcorn bowl later, and he felt more confident knocking on the door. Now he had a reason to bother her.

  He realized there was more to it as she called out, “Come in,” and his heart went to hammering in his chest. He had been looking for an excuse to just be around her. Every instinct inside of him said, “fuck that door between us,” and made him want it open.

  She was so different now.

  Ren had the phone up to her ear and locked her big blue eyes on the tray of snacks. I don’t like avocados, she mouthed.

  Shit.

  She grinned. Just kidding, you should see your face, you look so dumb.

  Relief flooded him and he bit back a chuckle so whoever she had on the phone wouldn’t hear him.

  Bron pulled a wad of money for her fee, held it up to her and set it on the tray. She gave him a wink as she talked on the phone. But before she shoved it into her back pocket, she counted out some of the bills and handed part of the fee back to him. “It’s really only eight-hundred,” she whispered, and then at normal volume, she said into the phone, “Uh huh, oh God I remember that night. And we were talking about how stupid it was for the Crow Blooded to be so scared of them, and now lookey here. Krome has formed an alliance with the bears. That’s a lot of raw power he has on his side now. Wonder why no one else thought of this before…”

  He busied himself with cleaning the room while she talked. Until she kicked him out, he was going to find excuses to be close to her. He didn’t know why, but she made the brokenness inside of him feel a little less important. He could breathe easier right now, but maybe it was because she was a beautiful distraction. If he thought of ways to make her hate him less, he wasn’t thinking about what had happened, or the pain in his still-healing body, or the motherfuckin’ nightmares of falling that kept him from sleeping, or the worry over where they would find Murder numbers fast enough to protect him and Krome. Oh shit, he was thinking too much again.

  “…I think Moore Bane’s number is still just two. His parents. And Aux and Brick are still at zero. For now, yeah. They’ll turn at some point but for now they’re not on the hunt as far as I’ve heard.” She was looking down at the notes sheet they’d come up with. Talking points depending on what would interest which friends she’d accumulated in which Murder. Her black hair had been cut short, and she had a bright pink streak of hair in her ear-length bangs she kept swept over her forehead. Laken used to make fun of her for having a big forehead, but Bron didn’t think it looked big. It was perfect, and her haircut was really different than the long curls she used to wear. This was kinda sexy. It made her look like a little badass, especially with all that dark make-up around her bright blue eyes. She was a stunner. Crow Blooded were all supposed to have pitch black eyes, but she had blue ones. And a little turned-up nose with a hoop in it. She had matching tiny hoops in her earlobes. Her lips were full, and she wasn’t so flat-chested or tomboyish anymore. Ren wore a pair of skintight jeans and black combat boots that were unlaced at the tops. The tops of a pair of red socks showed over her jeans, and they matche
d the red tank top she wore. Her arms were toned, and on the back of her left one there was a faded set of tattoos. He recognized two of them. One was of her family crest and another was a logo the Baltimore Murder used. Did her previous Murders make her get tattooed when she pledged? He didn’t like that thought.

  She said goodbye and hung up the phone, and he stopped folding the stack of clean T-shirts he’d tossed onto the chair in the corner to point to her arm. “Gray wash tattoos?”

  Ren’s eyes went wide for a moment with confusion, and then she grabbed her arm and pulled the muscle there to look at the tattoos. “They used to be black, but I’ve been doing tattoo removal. I’m two sessions in and they’re already fading.”

  “You don’t want them anymore?” he asked carefully.

  “I don’t want anyone’s claiming mark on me anymore,” she murmured softly. “I just want to belong to me.”

  Bron busied himself with straightening the corner of his comforter. “Why did you get them in the first place?”

  She shook her head back and forth, back and forth, a faraway look in her pretty blue eyes. “They said that’s what I should do, so I did it.” She blinked and lifted that crystal clear gaze to his. “I wanted to be a good crow. I wanted to stay in one place. Things were so simple when we were kids. Live with mom and dad, free food, warm bed at night, protection. And then ya turn eighteen and you want to stretch your wings and find your place in the world, and I had to learn that it isn’t so easy for female crows to land in the spot they’re supposed to be.”

  Bron’s chest hurt, but he didn’t understand the reason. Her words were hollowing him out. “Why didn’t you settle in a Murder?”

  “Because I didn’t fit. All the reasons were different, too. The first one, the Second wanted to claim me as soon as I moved there. The King said he had to wait until I was at least twenty, so he watched and stalked and hovered and chased away anyone I wanted to talk to for two years. I left the morning of my twentieth birthday. The second Murder was up in the Rockies. King was a drinker and liked to show me off at the bars. Show me off, and fight anyone who looked at me. I felt like some kind of bait for him to work through his issues. Next up, the King wanted to try for a baby within two months of me pledging. Didn’t want me, just the baby. Pledge, pledge pledge, pledge. You know the more you move, the easier it gets? My last Murder, I really tried. I was so tired of moving and just went numb and wanted to just breathe in a place for a while. I stayed for two years, and hated every single day of it.”