For the Heart of an Outlaw Read online

  Swallowing hard, he angled his face away and released her arm. “I told you I wasn’t a looker.”

  “You weren’t born a shifter? You were Turned?”

  “That subject is off-limits, Karis. Ask me about anything other than how the bear came to be, and I’ll answer.” Feeling like cow shit on the sole of his boot, Colt made his way to the truck with the certain knowledge that he would never forget the way she’d just looked at him.

  He was supposed to know instantly, right? She was striking, interesting, and she made his heart beat faster…but she hadn’t seen past his disfigured shell, so he knew—knew—exactly where they were headed.

  This wasn’t going to work.

  Chapter Three

  Colton’s face…

  Karis would never forget the hurt in his bright gold eyes when she’d gasped. She hadn’t expected the scars, or the ache that sliced through her chest as she imagined the pain he’d gone through to heal from such an injury. That was a bear claw right down the left side of his face, from his temple to his jaw, that had barely missed his eye. The scars were deep and red, like they were never stitched. Like he’d been left to heal with open wounds.

  He’d said he wasn’t a looker. Well, one side of his face was perfect. Blond brows that were animated, fiery gold eyes that gave away the grizzly inside of him, smile lines and thin, masculine lips. He was clean-shaven, so she could take in every curve of his chiseled jawline. He had that hotboy hair that was short on the sides and spiked up in front in a messy look that said he cared and he didn’t all at once. But the other side of his face was completely destroyed.

  Off-limits? Ask me about anything other than how the bear came to be, and I’ll answer.

  Pain had been infused into every word. Karis swallowed the thickness in her throat before she slowly followed him to his old green and white Chevy. She hoisted her suitcase over the tailgate and into the bed, then made her way through the thin layer of snow to the passenger’s side. The door creaked loudly when she pulled it open, and it irritated her sensitive ears. As she stared at his profile, he looked completely normal, looking straight ahead out the front window.

  Karis slid into the truck and murmured, “Cooper said you were good for nothin’.”

  Colt cast her a quick glance, his arms flexing against his jacket as he squeezed the steering wheel in a choke-hold. “What?”

  “That pilot. He called you and Trigger and Ava good-for-nothin’. And I got mad.”

  “On our behalf?”

  “No, just on yours. Trigger and Ava aren’t mine.” Karis hung her head and clasped her hands in her lap.

  “I don’t care much what people say about me,” he rumbled in a deep, gritty voice that said he actually did care. He was angry. She could smell the acrid scent of it.

  He dragged his knuckle across the condensation on his window, making a tiny comet. “Everyone has something to say. Everyone. Folks in this town don’t keep quiet with their thoughts, and they don’t think kind things. Cooper included. You’ll hear way worse about me. Let it go. No use getting your animal riled up over something that will never change.”

  “I don’t think that’s how this is supposed to work.” When he looked over at her, scars and all, she said, “I was almost a mate once, and I learned a few things. And one of those things is that you’re supposed to have each other’s backs.”

  “Why aren’t you with him anymore?”

  The space where her heart used to be ached. “Because he didn’t have my back.”

  As Colton stared at her with an unreadable expression, she witnessed the change in his eye color over a few moments. It was fast compared to hers, which would take several minutes to get back to her natural hazel color. Colt’s flashed from gold to a stunning green, and then he did something that made the ache in that empty pocket behind her ribcage lessen. He smiled, and it was so big, it reached the uninjured side of his face. “His loss. You hungry?”

  “I’m always hungry.”

  He chuckled, and it was the warmest sound. Such a contrast to the frigid scenery right behind him. “Atta girl. I fuckin’ love a woman who can eat.”

  Well…that was different. Jackson had always put her down for the extra weight she carried, so she’d ordered carefully when they went out. But this man…this stranger…had just demolished that insecurity.

  Karis was going to like being friends with him.

  He smelled good. Like cologne and fur. It was her favorite combination on a man. She’d never been attracted to humans because a base instinct inside her said a human man wouldn’t be able to handle what she was. Hell, she hadn’t even been able to find a shifter who could handle what she was. Her man needed to be durable, and from the scars on Colton’s face, that tingling feeling, that hope, got a little bigger.

  “You said you were plain,” he muttered, just barely audible over the screaming music that was playing at low volume. “Liar liar, your damn pants are on fire.”

  Karis stared over at him in shock. “I am. My nose is crooked from where I got kicked by a horse as a kid. My eyes are too big for my face and my top lip too thin. My ears stick out, my eyebrows are too low, I have a dimple in my chin, and I need to lose about fifty pounds to—”

  “Are you done putting yourself down?” Colton asked as he pulled out of the tiny airport. “Cause if so, I’ll tell you my first impression. Tits. A plus. Love those curves, so don’t you lose a fuckin’ pound for anyone’s opinion.”

  “You have a fetish for curvy women?”

  “Fetish? No. You’re shaped like an hourglass so I can grab your hips easy when you ride my dick. Furthermore, all that junk you said about your face is false. What you see in the mirror ain’t what the world sees. Gorgeous silver eyes that make me want to be rude and ask straight out what your animal is. I got the chance to see you pissed off right away, so I know you can look fierce when you’re protective. Your eyebrows are fine, your nose is fine, and I’m calling it right now—if you stick around and don’t go cold on me, I’ll be kissing that dimple on your chin. Your hair is strawberry blond and smells like strawberries, therefore I like your shampoo. I also think shampoo is a funny word because at the end, it says poo.”

  Unexpectedly, Karis snorted a laugh. She almost didn’t recognize it. It had been a while since she made a happy noise like that. “Well, I think you look fine, too,” she admitted softly.

  “Nah, you don’t have to lie about that stuff. I don’t need compliments. No use trying to stroke my ego now. I lost that thing five years ago.”

  “Was that when you were Turned?”

  “I’m taking you to a place called Rabbit Hole Barbecue. You said you like meat, so date number one, I’m gonna test you and see if you can keep up. Challenge given, do you accept?”

  She narrowed her eyes at his attractive profile. He’d switched subjects on her smoothly, as if he was a professional at steering conversations. She saw exactly what he was doing, but they’d just met, so she let it ride. “Challenge accepted.”

  “Good. I’ll try to charm you with my wit and mediocre manners. Ignore my elbows on the table. I have big plans to flatter my way into your heart.”

  “Good luck with that, kind sir. I don’t have a heart.”

  “Aw, a tinman. I like it. We’ll match. Two empty people who consider themselves ugly and who like to eat meat. Sarah was on her A-game with us.”

  Karis giggled. Giggled! “She sure was. When will I get to see the house?”

  “House is an overstatement. It’s more like a shack in the woods, and I wasn’t kidding when I said I have a pet squirrel. I need to feed you first so you’ll be in a good mood when you see the hermit-home I’m going to try and convince you to live in.”

  “You do have this all planned out.”

  Colton tapped his noggin. “Thinking is my gig.” He snorted a laugh. “Just kidding. I’m about as dumb as a sack of bricks. My sister planned all this out.”

  Another giggle at his self-deprecation before Karis
said, “I can’t wait to meet your sister.”

  “She’s human,” he said suddenly, his tone going serious. “Whatever you got inside of you? Control her around Ava. Me and Trig don’t want her Turned. She’s good as is.”

  “I’ve never Turned anyone before,” she said softly. “I was Turned too, and wouldn’t put anyone through that.”

  “When were you Turned?”

  “When I was ten. It was my choice, and this subject is also off-limits.”

  He looked over at her once. Twice. His Adam’s apple dipped into his muscular throat as he turned the music down. “I haven’t Turned anyone either. My sister asked a few months back if I would give her the bear so she could keep her man steady. I would’ve. You should know that. I would’ve Turned my own sister because the monster in me was fine with it. He wanted to hurt something. He was fine hurting someone I care about. The only reason I didn’t was because Trigger, my Alpha, her mate, wanted to keep her human. He’s braver than me. I can’t have a human mate. A human wouldn’t survive me.” Colton lifted a forest green binder from the bench seat space between them. “Here.”

  “What’s this?” she asked, flipping it open to the first page. Favorite color: blue, she read. That was her favorite color, too, and after his admission about his sister, which she understood better than he realized, this binder felt like dangerous territory.

  “It’s a way to get to know me better.”

  She closed the binder firmly. “When do you want to try for cubs?”

  “What?” he asked, jerking his attention off the road and to her.

  “When do you want to try for cubs?” she repeated.

  “Uuuuh…well…I thought we would wait a minute. Get to know each other first. Maybe try in a year? Or six months?”

  With a deep inhale to mask her disappointment, she murmured, “Okay.”

  “Just okay?”

  “Okay, that’s all I need to know about you.” Karis set the binder gently back on the seat between them. “Just so you know, wanting to Turn someone, wanting to hurt them? It doesn’t mean you’re a monster. It means you’re a shifter. The animal hunts. The human side redirects it, but the urge is never gone. It’s instinct.”

  “Are you saying I’m normal?” he asked.

  Karis smiled. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

  Colt snorted. “Good, because if you’d-a-just said yes, I would’ve known you for a liar. There’s nothing normal about me. Not anymore.”

  “Natural.”

  “Huh?”

  “It’s natural to want to hurt things. But it’s how you handle the instinct that defines you as a man or a monster.”

  A few minutes passed, and the only sound was the heavy metal music turned almost all the way down. Colton seemed to be lost in his head as he stared at the road in front of them, hand relaxed over the steering wheel, as if driving in icy conditions didn’t stress him out at all. At last he murmured, “Karis Dunway, I think you aren’t what I expected.”

  “What did you expect?”

  “Broken. Why else would a good lookin’ gal like you sign up to be the mate of a complete stranger? Why would someone smart and well-spoken, protective and sweet, sign up for this? You gotta know the boys in this program are fuck-ups. We couldn’t find a mate on our own because we are damaged, and no one wants to deal with it. But you…I don’t think you’re broken.”

  “You would be mistaken. I broke just fine.”

  “How?”

  Karis shook her head slowly, denying him. This wasn’t bonding time. This was getting to know her future mate on a friendly level. Acceptable subjects were the weather, pets, or anything light that wouldn’t dig too deep into the real her.

  “Are you gonna stay shut-down on me?” he asked without looking at her.

  “I just want the surface,” Karis said, hoping he would understand. “The surface and nothing more.”

  Chapter Four

  “I’ve been thinking,” Colton said, setting his tray across the wooden table from hers.

  “About what flavor of barbecue sauce you are going to eat on your brisket?”

  Colton frowned down at his pile of meat nestled between a cup of macaroni and cheese, a baked potato, two ears of buttered corn, and half a roasted chicken. “No.”

  “Pity,” she murmured, pouring a sauce called “Don’t You Do it” over her brisket sandwich. She was hyper aware right now, and there was a female standing behind the counter, her eyes intent on Karis. It was creeping her out.

  Colton followed her gaze, frowned, and then took a huge bite of his food. Around the bite, he uttered, “I’ve been thinking your little plan to keep me at arm’s length isn’t going to work.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m charming and a semi-good listener, and look around you, Karis. All the ladies in here are staring at me. I have sex appeal for days. I’m basically walking pheromones. You can try, but you won’t be able to resist me forever.”

  Indeed, he was right. The creeper behind the register was now staring at him, and a lady pushing eighty was staring at him, too. That one winked once at Colt, who waved the tips of his fingers back at her, the flirt.

  “That’s Martha, or as I like to call her, Handsy Martha. I will get my ass slapped before we leave this restaurant. I’m calling it.” He pointed to the ruined side of his face. “Chicks dig scars.” His eyes danced with self-deprecation.

  Karis couldn’t help it. She giggled like a little school girl with a crush, and this needed to stop. “I have eight older brothers.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “Yep, and they are all worse than me. We are a miserable lot, and we don’t connect with people outside of our Clan.”

  “Eight?”

  “Yep.”

  “Your dad must’ve had a magic dick to make eight boys and a girl.”

  “God, Colt,” she said, scrunching up her face.

  “He made nine babies. Nine little snow leopard babies.”

  “I’m not a snow leopard, and he didn’t make me. Obviously. Shifters don’t have little girls.”

  “Okay, wait. So all eight of your brothers are buffalos?”

  “No, but they’re shifters. When my step-dad met my mom, we were both human.”

  “Is he who Turned you?”

  Karis let off a frustrated growl. “I said this was off-limits.”

  Colt batted his eyelashes and waited.

  With a sigh, Karis murmured, “Yes. I got to choose on my tenth birthday. He thought I was strong enough. My mom had already been Turned, so I knew exactly what to expect. I knew how bad it would hurt.”

  The amused look on his face vanished. “And you still chose this?”

  “Yes, and I would do it all over again to feel like part of my family and not on the outside. I grew up idolizing my step-brothers and my step-dad. He gave me a choice. He gave me a gift. I don’t have any regrets. About that, anyway.”

  Colt’s eyebrows shot up. “Whoa, there it is. Okay, what do you regret?”

  “Pass.”

  “You can’t pass on every personal question I ask!”

  “I’ve given you enough for one meal. I gave you my brothers and how I was Turned.”

  “Not enough. I want more.”

  Karis narrowed her eyes and sighed. “All eight are paired up. They found their mates the old-fashioned way, and then there’s me. I couldn’t do it on my own. Year after year, I watched them grow their families and find happiness, and year after year, my biological clock tick-tocked away my baby-having window.”

  “How old are you?”

  “Thirty-three and no prospects on the horizon.”

  Colton sat up straighter, took a bite, and watched her thoughtfully. When he gulped the food down, he murmured, “I would’ve guessed twenty-eight.”

  “How old are you?”

  “Thirty-two, also no prospects on the horizon, but I want a baby for a different reason than you.”

  “Why do you want one?”

&
nbsp; “To keep me steady. To keep my animal steady. To have someone to fight for.”

  “To fight who for?”

  “The devil inside of me.”

  Wow. Karis drew up straight. Just…wow. Such a raw admission felt like a lot from a man like Colt. She’d assumed he was a jokester. Maybe a prankster. He didn’t take much seriously, but here he was telling her he truly believed there was a beast inside of him. How sad.

  “Did you grow up around shifters?”

  “Yes, but I wasn’t aware until much later.”

  “Your friend?”

  “Trigger. Yeah. And his dad.”

  The lady behind the counter was headed this way. A sudden feeling of possessiveness took Karis, and she narrowed her eyes at the intruder. The pretty blond was probably headed to talk to Colt, and now Handsy Martha was blowing kisses at her mate. Friend. Mate-friend. Fuck it, whatever. “Back off,” she snarled to the server in a voice too gritty to be human.

  The woman, Trina, her nametag read in cursive letters, stopped and glared. “I was going to help you out, bitch. Best mind your manners.”

  “What is with this town and the word bitch?” Colt said, standing. “Her name is Karis, she’s a nice girl, and I’m not causing trouble, Trina. Call her a bitch again, and you’ll have me to deal with.”

  Trina lowered her gaze to the toes of Colt’s boots and angled her face to the left, exposing her neck. Huh. She didn’t feel submissive. Definitely a shifter from the pungent scent of fur, and the blonde’s eyes had turned a bright and inhuman green. Karis sniffed the air that was now filling with the sour scent of fear. Trina’s terror was burning her sensitive nose. But what was she afraid of? She’d moseyed straight over here without a single hesitation in her step, but the second Colt stood up and leveled her with a look, she went limp? What the hell?

  “Can I talk to you in private?” Trina murmured, gaze still lowered.

  “Don’t want to talk,” Colt growled. “Whatever you have to say won’t matter to me one bit. You and your people came onto our land and forced a fight. Your carcasses haunt our fuckin’ woods. Make one misstep, say one wrong word, and I’m out of warnings. My patience is at zero percent currently, Trina, and you just called my mate a bitch.” Colt’s eyes were blazing gold like the sun as he narrowed them. “Tread carefully.”