Red Havoc Rogue (Red Havoc Panthers Book 1) Read online

  That wasn’t how the rhyme went, but okay. Jax had Changed back and was cracking a smirk. Bash shoved a paper plate with a dozen pizza rolls into one of her hands and a fruity beer with a miniature pink umbrella into the other, and everything was weird.

  “Everyone,” Jax called, cupping a hand on one side of his mouth. “This is Annalise of Red Havoc. She’s mine.”

  “Hi, Annalise,” the butt-naked shifters said in unison as they went back about their business like they hadn’t all just shifted for battle.

  As he passed, Jathan clapped Annalise so hard on the back she coughed. Bash tossed him a pizza roll through the air, and Jax’s twin caught it in his mouth like a circus poodle. He turned and walked backward a couple steps, grinning at her as he chewed. “I always wanted a sister to torture,” he said around the bite. “I mean a sister besides Jax.”

  A football sailed through the air and hit Jathan smack dab in the forehead, and when she turned around, Jax was smiling remorselessly. Bash belted a laugh that sounded like the bray of a donkey.

  None of this should’ve been funny. None of it. That didn’t stop Annalise from laughing disproportionately loudly at their antics and at this surreal and strange moment. These crazy Gray Backs, Boarlanders, and Ashe Crew…they reminded her a little of Red Havoc. Of the boys teasing constantly, reacting in ways she never would’ve expected. That battle and bear claw spanking had reminded her of the way Barret, Anson, Greyson, and Ben had protected She-Devil for days from those lions, trying their best to keep her in control without really hurting her.

  For a tiny instant, she almost felt…homesick.

  Shaking her head hard at that idiotic thought, she looked over at Jax, who had a mouthful of something. Her plate now only sported half the food it once did. “You stole my food?”

  “I’m so freaking hungry,” he said with a full mouth.

  When he reached for another, she swatted his hand and yanked the plate away. “Get your own.”

  “Mean and greedy,” he accused through a grin, but he sauntered off toward Bash’s grill.

  As she watched him load up a plate, talking and laughing with Bash and Jathan, it struck her how relaxed he was right now. It wasn’t like with Red Havoc, when the fur along his back was bristled all the time. Where he was ready to fight and bleed the cats at any given moment.

  Here, he wasn’t battle ready. He was just Jax.

  He was Gray Back, and she was Red Havoc, and if they were going to stay together, one of them was going to have to make a very big sacrifice.

  Chapter Fourteen

  It was dark in Jax’s trailer except for the soft moonlight that filtered in through the blinds, covering the bedroom in blue stripes. Annalise was lying on her belly on his bed, smiling over at him, because he couldn’t seem to stop smiling either. She was naked as a jaybird because she was trying to get her butt to heal faster. Jax had bandaged it and taken care of her, and they’d hung out in here for the rest of the evening and into the night, just the two of them. It had been relaxed, and they’d talked for hours. And She-Devil had stayed silently pouting inside of her, giving her muscles time to relax and heal. Thank goodness for her quick shifter healing, too, because she was feeling like a new woman, and more hopeful than she had in a week.

  It had been the perfect night.

  “I want to show you something,” Jax murmured, stroking her hair from her face.

  “I’ve already seen your dick. Very impressive.”

  He chuckled low, his white teeth flashing in the dark. “Thank you for saying that.”

  “I mean it. That thing’s like…Thor Dick.”

  He buried his face in the pillow and cracked up. He sighed and looked over at her again, the corners of his eyes crinkling with his smile. “Tell me the next one.”

  With a put-upon sigh, Annalise propped herself up on her elbows and read the next on the list. “Number eight, get a motherfuckin’ job.”

  “Where did you work before?”

  “Before She-Devil? Because you know I wasn’t working while I was my own one-animal circus act.”

  His smile widened. “Yeah, before the bite. Where did you work?”

  “The post office.”

  He inhaled deeply and feigned shock. “You were a postal worker.”

  “Yeah, it was super-sexy,” she said in her best phone sex operator voice. “I wore this blue, button-down, short-sleeved shirt and navy pants over my granny panties that made my butt look like two flap-jacks—”

  “God, stop.” Jax was laughing again. “Did you like your job?”

  “I loved it. There were some really nice ladies who worked there with me. And the people who would come in were usually nice and talkative. It was a low-stress job, good benefits. I was happy. Content. What are you doing?” she asked, swatting his glowing phone away from his face. “Pay attention to me. I was telling you important stuff!”

  “I’m looking up the post office in Covington. I want to mark more off the list.”

  Okay, that was actually really sweet. “Anything?”

  “It says they’re hiring.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, look.” He showed her the screen. “So there’s more motivation to be bigger than She-Devil because your dream post office job could be right there.” He bit his lip in that sexy-boy way and let off a low rumble. “I can’t fuckin’ wait to see your sexy flapjacks in those navy man-pants.”

  She giggled and said, “Okay, number nine, steal a car to get me to the super-awesome job I find.”

  “Oh, mark that off. I can take care of that.”

  “What? No. You aren’t buying me a car.”

  “Wait, why don’t you have a car? Everyone has a car, Anna.”

  “I did have a car until I had an uncontrolled Change in it. Apparently, She-Devil doesn’t know how to drive, and it smashed into a tree and was totaled. And then she scratched up the seats and pissed in it. Insurance gave me some money. I just haven’t replaced it yet.”

  “Your animal’s the worst,” he said through a smile that said he was teasing her.

  “But really, she is.”

  “Nah, she’s not so bad.”

  “She attacks everyone.”

  “Not me.”

  Annalise propped her elbow on the pillow and rested her cheek in her hand. Huh. “She hasn’t ever attacked you. I didn’t think about that until now.”

  “It’s because she like-likes me.”

  “Or she’s in heat and she saw Maximus.”

  “Babe. Did you just name my dick Maximus?”

  “It was that or call it a worm again.”

  Jax dragged her close and tickled her ribs as he rubbed his beard against her neck. With a squeal, she squirmed against him, then peeled into a fit of giggles until he released her.

  “You’re even better in person,” he said suddenly.

  The butterflies were back with his spontaneous compliment. “Really?”

  “Yeah. I was afraid that if we ever met, you wouldn’t be like you were when we texted. You wouldn’t be as positive and nice. You wouldn’t be as caring. But you’re so much better than I imagined.”

  “That’s because you have a crappy imagination.”

  “Accept my compliments, woman.”

  “Same.”

  “What?”

  She smiled because she was feeling mushy right now. “I feel the same. About you. You’re so much better than I could’ve ever imagined.”

  He searched her eyes for a few moments before he murmured, “Go back to number two.”

  From heart, she recited, “Make him fall in love with me asap.”

  “Mark it off.”

  Her entire body warming with a happy blush, she picked up the purple pen and marked off number two.

  “Next.”

  “Call Samuel so he doesn’t worry. It’s too late to do that one tonight. I could text him. That would be close enough.”

  “Yeah, do that.”

  While she was typing an I�
�m okay and doing better text to her brother, Jax read off the next one. “Find a magical serum to cure shifter-dom, aka kill She-Devil.” The smile faded instantly from his lips, and his face settled into a troubled expression.

  Annalise hit send on Samuel’s text and then asked, “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t like this one. I don’t like you talking about killing her. She-Devil is part of you. I like her. I want you to keep her.”

  “Well, I don’t have a choice. There’s no cure.”

  “Yes, there is. Ben didn’t always have his panther. I researched him. He was in Apex, some genetic cleansing lab that stripped animals out of shifters. Most of the time it killed them, but sometimes it worked. It worked on Ben. He didn’t get his panther back for years after he was in that lab. I don’t want you to kill your cat. I want you to own her.”

  Something about his impassioned speech made She-Devil draw up a little. She wasn’t pouting anymore. She was listening. And Annalise felt a surge of pride in herself. Maybe she could do that someday and be the woman Jax deserved. He deserved a strong mate. He had faith in her, wanted her to be a badass, wanted her to be a better shifter, and it was strong motivator right here, right now.

  He drew her palm to his lips and pressed a kiss there, then said low, “Don’t talk about killing her anymore because if you did that, you wouldn’t be you.”

  “Okay,” she whispered.

  He looked down at her journal again before she realized what number they were on.

  “Twelve,” he said, “Marry Jaxon and have a dozen of his…” He paused and grinned before he continued. “Monster bear-panther babies.”

  “Oh, my gosh, now I’m really embarrassed,” she said, burying her face in her pillow. “That was a joke. Don’t run away from me.”

  “Oh, no, I’m not running. I’m gonna put at least two dozen monster babies in you,” he said, punching out his words through his soft laughing. “Okay, number thirteen.” He stopped talking, so she looked up at him. He wore a frown again as he read it silently. He inhaled sharply and read. “Thirteen, live happily ever after in the woods with a bunch of gross boys who I’m pretty sure are making moonshine on the mountain behind my cabin.” Jax scratched his lip with the back of his thumbnail. “My cabin,” he repeated. “Does Red Havoc feel like a den? Like a home?”

  “Yes,” she said, confused. “That was the point of me moving out there though, right?”

  Jax nodded and offered her a sad smile. “You found your place.”

  “My place is with you.”

  “A rogue.”

  “So…I’ll be a rogue, too, then.”

  His frown deepened, and he wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I want to show you something.”

  Ah, there was that subject change he’d been so damn good at in their text messages. She knew from experience there was no turning him back to the subject that had run him off in the first place. With a sigh, she said, “Okay, Jax, show me.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Annalise stared up at the tree house high in the branches of a sturdy oak. The wood was worn, old, and gray from its battle against the elements. But some of the planks of the house had been replaced with new wood, and recently if the scent of lingering sawdust was anything to go by.

  She squeezed Jaxon’s hand and looked up at him. “You’re giving me something important, aren’t you?”

  He dipped his chin once.

  “What does it mean to you?”

  “When I was a kid, maybe seven or eight, I started having these urges to leave my trailer at night. My parents would be so pissed when I came back and would ask where I’d been all night, but I couldn’t tell them. There wasn’t an answer. I just…wandered. Eventually they got used to it. Sometimes Jathan would come with me, but he got bored of walking the woods in the dark. As I got older, Titan wanted to wander farther, and the urges got worse. I had to leave during the day, too. Take breaks from work to go…anywhere. Beaston built this treehouse a long time ago. The kids I grew up with, Harper Keller, Air Ryder, Aaron Keller, Wyatt James, Weston Novak, my brother, Bash’s kids, Beaston’s kids, all the kids who grew up in Damon’s Mountains…this was like a hideaway. Countless hours were spent playing here and shifting in these woods, learning how to depend on the other kids around us. Like a miniature crew. The next generation. But for me, those lessons on how to be a crew slid right over me. I would come here more and more when I knew nobody would be here. Late at night, when everyone was asleep in their trailers, I would wander for hours and usually end up here because home didn’t feel like home, and I had nowhere else that Titan felt a connection to.”

  “What are you saying, Jax?”

  When he looked back down at her, his eyes were glowing green. “I’m saying, you found a steady home in Red Havoc. My cabin, you said. This treehouse is the closest I ever got to my cabin, and as we speak, Titan is asking me to leave these woods and roam.”

  Flap, flap, scritch, scratch.

  Annalise jerked her attention to a branch by the tree house. A large raven sat there, one dark eye on her.

  Flap, flap. She ruffled her wings, then scraped her shiny black beak against the bark of the branch under her.

  Flap, flap. The raven spread her wings and dove straight for Annalise.

  She-Devil stayed inside of her skin as she ducked away from the dive-bombing raven at the last moment. The bird arced low to the pine-needle blanketed forest floor and then lifted just enough to land on a man’s arm.

  Annalise startled badly. She hadn’t heard him approach, and there was something quite scary about the way he stared at her. Like he could see right through to her soul with those glowing green eyes, the same color as Jax’s. The man’s head was canted like a curious animal, and even from way over here, she could feel dominance wafting from him. Monster, She-Devil warned, but she didn’t push for a Change. She was still uncertain after the fight earlier.

  The man’s hair was chestnut-colored and mussed on top. He wore jeans and a navy sweater that clung to his rigid musculature.

  “Beaston,” Jax greeted him. “I was wondering where you were. You asked me to bring her to you, but you didn’t show up at the river.”

  “I was there at the river,” Beaston said, giving his attention to the large raven on his forearm. He ran a knuckle down its chest. “I wanted to watch her first. Watch the panther. She-Devil.”

  The way he said her animal’s name so intimately drew chills up Annalise’s spine.

  “I’ve seen you a long time.”

  “I-I don’t think we’ve met,” Annalise stammered.

  “Sure we did. Don’t you remember the night you were bitten?”

  Pain slashed through her head as something tugged right at the edge of her memory.

  No, She-Devil pleaded.

  “I was too late,” Beaston said, his eyes still on the raven as he petted her. “I’m always too late. I wanted to fix you before you got broken, but fate never lets me win. Jax calls you his Anna. Did you know?” Beaston slightly lifted his arm with the raven on it. “This is my Ana. You two are alike but different. Black feathers. Black fur. She was in a cage once, too.” Beaston slid that eerie green gaze to Annalise. “Strong women don’t do well in cages. I was there that night, just too late.”

  Flashes of her fighting Brody as he dragged her into the bedroom blasted across her mind.

  Tears welled in Annalise’s eyes, and she shook her head. She’d blocked out this memory for so long. She didn’t want to see it again, but something inside of her said she must.

  Pain. She screamed for help. He bit her hard, and then it wasn’t her screaming anymore. It was the panther. And then there was silver fur and long, sharp claws, but they weren’t hers. Blood. Brody staring with dead, vacant eyes at the ceiling as she cowered in the corner, watching in terror as the huge silver grizzly bear avenged her.

  She hadn’t killed Brody after all.

  Beaston had.

  “You got hurt, but I thought about it. I could
see what was going to happen. I dreamed of you. I could see you would be Jax’s, and so I’m not angry at me anymore. Fate was right to hurt you. She broke you into the exact right shape to fit Jaxon. Like she did to my Ana. Like she did to me.” Beaston swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he arced his gaze to Jax. “Your mother will miss you.”

  “What do you mean,” Jax asked, his voice tainted with confusion.

  “Always a rogue until you found your Anna.”

  Jax shook his head and seemed utterly baffled. “I’m still rogue. I want to roam now. Nothing’s changed.”

  “Where were you for the last two weeks?” Beaston asked, lifting his chin and looking smug, as if he knew the answer already.

  Beside Annalise, Jax went quiet and still.

  “Where?” Beaston demanded, voice crackling with power.

  “Red Havoc territory.”

  A feral smile took Beaston’s face for just a moment before it slipped off again. “You are a rogue here but not with the panthers. You picked your Anna. Titan will be with her like glue. She picked your home. You don’t belong in Damon’s Mountains anymore, Jax.” He turned and strode off into the woods. “Follow me, Jax’s Anna. I made you a present to say I’m sorry for being too late that night.”

  Shocked, Annalise looked up at Jax, who was still frozen like a river in an Alaskan winter, eyes stuck to where Beaston was disappearing into the woods.

  “Jax?” she asked, slipping her hand into his. “I think Beaston saved me that night.”

  Jax inhaled sharply and ran his hand down his beard. “Come on,” he urged, pulling her after Beaston.

  It seemed like they walked for hours, but maybe it was only minutes. Her head was spinning with the memories from that night. She-Devil had helped hide them from her all this time because she’d been so scared. So angry. She wanted to hurt everyone because she’d been hurt.

  They followed the man with the deep limp through the dark woods as the raven on his arm watched them with soft brown eyes.

  And as they came to a clearing, Jax slowed and stared in awe at the cream colored singlewide mobile home with a red door and forest green shutters. It was hooked to an eighteen-wheeler. The house numbers were shiny and new, but had been nailed on strangely. The last zero was dangling upside down.